I had to go pick my mom off the ground today.

[Mobile Bay]

Good Lord I am not ready for this. She texted me that she could not get up. I got there as fast as I could. She was sitting up on the ground, smoking a cigarette. I got her up and for helped clean her up. Her arm had a big bruise on it and another cut that was bleeding. Then I noticed she had a bleeding scratch on her head. I got her cleaned up and she just wanted to go to bed. So got her in bed and 17, I am just completely rattled.

She is not in bad health overall. Lots of things normal for a 73 year old woman. She already had a med alert necklace on the way, making me wonder if this is not her first fall. I am scared, I am worried, and I am not readdy to lose my momma. I do not know what to do.

 

[karlchilders.sixpack]

My sympathies, lost mom at 69 and dad at 46.

Any situation like this is hard to deal with.

 

[TilloDawg II]

First off....relax and breathe. She's ok other than taking a spill, and she was able to get you on the phone to help get her inside. The fall couldve been caused by anything, so try not to read too much into just yet. Give her another hug and be grateful...

 

[Pilgrimdawg]

I have already traveled that road with my parents. All I can tell you is that it is part of life. Just be a good son and be there when your needed. Hopefully she has a lot of good years still ahead of her.

 

[WilCoDawg]

I'm so sorry.

 

[theoriginalSALTYdog]

Good Lord I am not ready for this. She texted me that she could not get up. I got there as fast as I could. She was sitting up on the ground, smoking a cigarette. I got her up and for helped clean her up. Her arm had a big bruise on it and another cut that was bleeding. Then I noticed she had a bleeding scratch on her head. I got her cleaned up and she just wanted to go to bed. So got her in bed and 17, I am just completely rattled.

She is not in bad health overall. Lots of things normal for a 73 year old woman. She already had a med alert necklace on the way, making me wonder if this is not her first fall. I am scared, I am worried, and I am not readdy to lose my momma. I do not know what to do.

Well, I know exactly what you're going thru Mobile.........Lost my Mom on March 6 of this year.........It's hard to watch a parent go thru it..........My Dad has not done well since my Mother's passing.........They were both in an assisted living facility and it gave us a lot of comfort knowing they had someone watching over them.......It's a tough decision to make but we just couldn't continue to give them the care they needed living at home alone..........My sister and I rotated out staying w/them but it took it's toll on us........May be time to start looking at your options........If you haven't done an estate plan, you should do it, SOON....

 

[greenbean.sixpack]

My mom and is 87 and burns up the roads, phones and we can't keep her out of the yard. Unless you live with her, there's not much you can do. You really just have to make peace with "whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen."

 

[Dawgbite]

The medic alert is a piece of mind for you and probably her too. My mom had one, the only problem we had was her little dog. She wore the medic alert as a necklace and the dog would get in her lap and crawl up on her and push the button under her shirt. After repeated false alarms we finally put the alert on a watch band and it solved the problem.

 

[Mobile Bay]

I lost my dad 10 years ago and he had done nothing. He had done nothing toward planning. Which I guess I get because he had nothing. So I became an estate planning crusader. Mine has been done for years and needs an update. I will do that soon. So hers is fully in order.

But I am just not ready to lose her. She all but died in childbirth for me. And it left her unable to bear more children. She did everything growing up and sacrificed so much and worked so hard. I can never pay her back. She was trying to apologize to me today and I just replied, 45 years ago you wiped my ***. This is the least I can do in return.

I am scared. I just do not want to be alone in this world. And I don't want to watch her suffer. I don't want her to think she is a burden. I don't know what to think right now.

 

[Trojanbulldog19]

My mom is handicapped and falls often. It sucks. Father in law also has Parkinson's and he had gotten progressively worse. I've picked him up a lot and saved his head several times from smacking pavement. It sucks for them too. Because they want to be independent but they can't anymore

 

[Mobile Bay]

My mom and is 87 and burns up the roads, phones and we can't keep her out of the yard. Unless you live with her, there's not much you can do. You really just have to make peace with "whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen."

That is mom. Just yesterday, I asked her to go by my house and just slide some possibly heavy packages through my door while I was out of town. I had no real idea how heavy. Some of them were 40 pounds. And they were all up on my tables well inside my house. I told her not to hurt herself.

She would rather die than not have a perfect looking yard with 20+ knockout rose bushes.

 

[Dawg1976]

Get her checked out with a dr. Might be something simple that is off. From where I sit 73 is not that old if you're in decent shape.

 

[theoriginalSALTYdog]

Get her checked out with a dr. Might be something simple that is off. From where I sit 73 is not that old if you're in decent shape.

76 is right. My Dad was having balance issues. Bp was getting too low so they adjusted meds. Also his sodium was low and that was complicating the issue. Regular checkups are important.

 

[Eleven Bravo]

Good Lord I am not ready for this. She texted me that she could not get up. I got there as fast as I could. She was sitting up on the ground, smoking a cigarette. I got her up and for helped clean her up. Her arm had a big bruise on it and another cut that was bleeding. Then I noticed she had a bleeding scratch on her head. I got her cleaned up and she just wanted to go to bed. So got her in bed and 17, I am just completely rattled.

She is not in bad health overall. Lots of things normal for a 73 year old woman. She already had a med alert necklace on the way, making me wonder if this is not her first fall. I am scared, I am worried, and I am not readdy to lose my momma. I do not know what to do.

I feel your pain, brother. My Daddy passed away unexpectedly in 2006-and my Mama’s health had been declining for years. Daddy was her primary caregiver-he waited on her hand and foot. Daddy was afraid that he would go first-and he did. Our family figured that Mama wouldn’t last a year after Daddy died but we were waaayyy wrong-she lived until 2014. Over the years after Daddy passed away, Mama burned up the roads, going to the “beauty shop” twice a week, to her bridge club, to church, the grocery store and every other place she wanted to go. She was very independent after Daddy died. My biggest fear was that she would have a car wreck-but that never happened.

Mama and Daddy’s house was about 1/2 mile down the road from our house and when I wasn’t traveling I saw her every day. My sister lived in Baton Rouge (about 80 miles away) so I was the primary caregiver for Mama after Daddy died. I went by one afternoon and found her on the floor of her garage sitting there waiting on me to help her get up and into her house. I asked her how long she had been there and she told me that she had been there for about 4 hours just waiting for me or my wife to find her. I asked her why she didn’t call anyone for help and she told me she didn’t want to be a “bother” to anyone. At that point I really felt bad for her and I scolded her and told her to never do that again.

As our parents get older they really don’t want to be a burden on us. They aren’t a burden, but they see it that way, sadly. Mama finally died as the result of a stroke in 2014. I very much wish that she was still around to be a “burden” on me and my family these days. God bless you, brother-I know exactly what you are going through…

 

[40mikemike]

First off, she’s still here. Spend time with her whenever you can. Let her know you are there for her. Make sure she knows she can always call you with any kind of problem. I know that sounds silly, but moms never want to bother their kids and they’ll go out of their way to keep from calling with a problem.

I lost my dad in 2013. He was 59. Lost my mom in 2018. She was 58. I say that only to say that Dad never called me for help. I had to call him to find out one day that he was incredibly sick and needed to go to the ER. He never came home from that hospital trip and he never would have told me how sick he was if I hadn’t called to check on him.

Mom fell several times before I finally forced her to move in with me and my wife. She never once called me. Parents do not want to be a burden to their children.

Just check on her regularly and she never even has to know you are checking on her. You can just call to talk.

 

[Anon1664516582]

I am very lucky. Lost my dad last August at the age of 90. Last week was the first time I have been to a Mississippi State baseball game without my dad and I turn 60 on Sunday. Growing up in Starkville.. u take those things for granted… almost had a panic attack last week at the game because … well I am sure you all can understand.

My mom is 88 and is still driving and playing bridge with all her friends 3 days a week. But she has fallen several times lately and doesn’t tell me. I hear it from her friends.

When our parents do fall.. make sure you check their heads… because they may not realize what a bump on the ole noggin can do to them. I have seen several of my friends parents fall and during the fall they hit their heads.. 3 of those people died several days later because they did hit their heads but didn’t tell anyone.

So please check after their falls. My prayers go out to all that have dealt with this and like me… are dealing with it now. It’s stressful.. Stress kills folks. I had a slight heart attack and congestive heart failure and only 15% of my heart was working… Spent 13 days In Baptist. Take care of yourself at the same time as you do your parents at this stage in life.

 

[peewee.sixpack]

Lost my mom on March 6 this year. It’s hard. She was 71 and in bad shape in a nursing home. Mama had been in a nursing home since 2015. I was the only family close as my sisters lived in Houston therefore I took care of everything, and visited her as often as I could. The past 2 months were really tough as I watched her health decline. I had a long talk with her in February about trusting in the Lord. She was a believer but I wanted comfort hearing it again. She told me then she was ready to go home. Guys that’s hard to hear. I lost my dad a week after I turned 18. Im 47 now and think about him everyday. I say this to cherish the time with your folks and love them.

 

[maroonmadman]

Glad your Mom is OK. That stuff can scare the living hell out of you. The MedAlert thing is an excellent idea. My Dad fell and broke his hip back in Aug. 2005, he was 84. He was in his bathroom (approx. 8 AM) and managed to drag himself into his bedroom - about 30 feet or so - and pull the phone off his night stand and called me, not 911. By this time it is almost noon. I lived just down the street and rushed over and seeing the situation called 911. While I'm on the phone with them he tells me to "help him pull his underwear up so the paramedics won't see him like this." (his drawers were around his ankles by this time) 911 operator says "Don't make any attempt to move him or you may cause further damage." so I get a blanket and cover him up. Paramedics/FD arrive and got him to hospital. I just can't imagine how much of an ordeal this was for my Dad, it makes me shiver to think about it.

 

[Indndawg]

Here's what we did.
1) Go thru every inch of home and yard and look for fall hazards and correct.
2) Mark stuff grown to the ground so she can see it.
3) Check shoes, make sure the ones shes wearing are grippy and not slick
4) Cats and dogs are big sources of falling. That might be a tough one.
5) Have some type of life alert on her person
6) Go by frequently and check to see what shes made unsafe.
7) Start mentally prepping for in home care or skilled facility

 

[KingBarkus]

I've been living this situation since late 2014. Dad at 85 yo had bypass surgery, Lived 3 more years. Mom had a stroke in 2015 and has suffered a myriad of issues. Feel and broke hip in 2022 at home. My brother and I have been consumed with Mom's care. She has aphasia and numerous UTI related dementia episodes. I say all this to offer suggestions.
1. Take one step at a time. (Finances, estate planning, care, etc.)
2. I use agingcare.com as a resource and support site.
3. Mom is now in assisted living in Hattiesburg under hospice care.
4. All this wears on you. If I didn't have my faith, I don't know where I would be. I've spent more time in prayer these last few years than the rest of my life. I will stand in front of my Lord at the end and give an accounting of what I did for my parents. My brother and I are both retired and I think have made all the "right" decisions regarding my Mom. That said, the stress is unbelievable. This is the hardest thing I've dealt with in my life. It never leaves you. Your heart is broken every day. Take care of yourself and try to do something for yourself for mental rehab.

 

[harrydawg.sixpack]

Getting old sux and watching your parents slowly deteriorate is no fun. Today marks 1 year to the day that my father fell and hit his head - creating a massive subdural hemorrhage - spent a week in ICU at UMC all while my mom was entering hospice care. She died in May and my father is now living in a retirement home - he is limited in speech but thank God manages pretty well. Been a hell of a year…….if you fortunate enough to still have parents around you will have to deal with this and hope that our children will do the same for us. We next

 

[Cantdoitsal]

Good Lord I am not ready for this. She texted me that she could not get up. I got there as fast as I could. She was sitting up on the ground, smoking a cigarette. I got her up and for helped clean her up. Her arm had a big bruise on it and another cut that was bleeding. Then I noticed she had a bleeding scratch on her head. I got her cleaned up and she just wanted to go to bed. So got her in bed and 17, I am just completely rattled.

She is not in bad health overall. Lots of things normal for a 73 year old woman. She already had a med alert necklace on the way, making me wonder if this is not her first fall. I am scared, I am worried, and I am not readdy to lose my momma. I do not know what to do.

Be grateful you still have her and cherish every moment. Feel fortunate you live near her so you can rush over there anytime you want for instance I'm in Fort Worth and my 82 year old Mom lives in Jacktown. Oh, and my Mom's Sister is 80 and has smoked cigs since she was 15. Best of luck Man and God Bless.