<span class="dateline">July 24, 2009</span><h1>Sarah Palin Caught In A Naughty Monkey Trap</h1><h2>By Shannyn Moore</h2>
Everyone knows how to catch a monkey even if you've never had to.
Basic concept. Put a banana in a jar and make sure the mouth of the jar
is bigger than a monkey paw, yet smaller than the banana. When the
monkey gets hold of that banana, he won't let go, even if it means his
hand is stuck in the jar.</p>
Sarah Palin finds herself in a similar predicament. Her Alaska Fund
Trust is the perfect golden banana. It happens to be inside the legal
jar created by Thomas Daniel's ethics investigation findings. You see,
Mr. Daniel concluded Palin had used her official title of governor to
raise money for a "slush fund" to pay her legal bills. That's a no-no,
silly monkey!</p>
With his findings, Mr. Daniel gave the Naughty Palin
Monkey an out…”LET GO OF THE BANANA!” To avoid an ethics hearing,
Palin could give back the money raised by the fund. Then, there would
be no finding of guilt. Not only did she not let go of the money,
her fund trust kept their campaign up and begging-thereby making the
banana fatter and more golden.</p>
This week, the report of a “jar” was
leaked. Palin, her
spokesmodels, and attorney have curious explanations:</p>
“THERE IS NO
JAR!”</p>
“IT’S A
LIBERAL JAR!”</p>
“IT’S THE FAULT OF THE WOMAN WHO FILED A COMPLAINT TO FIND OUT IF A JAR
EXISTED!”</p>
“IF THERE WERE A JAR, IT WOULD BE
OPEN AND TRANSPARENT!”</p>
“THE EXISTENCE OF A JAR IS STILL
UNDETERMINED AND NOT FINAL.”</p>
“SARAH PALIN HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE
JAR, EVEN THOUGH IT’S HER DAMN BANANA!”</p>
“SARAH PALIN WROTE
THANK YOU NOTES TO “BANANA BUILDERS” WITHOUT KNOWING THEY EXISTED!”</p>
I don’t have a lot of experience with monkeys. If I were rooting for
a trapped monkey, I’d tell them to let go of the banana…the “jar” is
real.</p>
© AlaskaReport.com All Rights Reserved.</p>
