In honor of bamassippi, I felt I should I describe my experience at a Southern game last year.
First of off, I will admit to being excited about the trip. I had heard countless stories of adult women wearing leopard/cheetah/tiger print pants, frat guys with tribal tats, sorority bitches with too much make up and Snookiesque hair, and etc. I wanted to see such trashiness first hand. I saw it all right, and I saw much, much more.
The ride from Starkville to the Hub City was awesome in its on way. The Pine Belt never fails to disappoint, and we were fortunate enough to see yard sales, meth heads, illegitimate children, the Collins Zoo and many more local attractions on the way down. We also saw a snake-handling church ( I assume) with a sign that said: "Enter to win a free trip to Paradise." We took this as an omen that our trip would be successful in ways we never could have imagined.
Arriving in Hattiesburg, we found the town devoid of anything resembling a cool college neighborhood. In fact, if we hadn't been wearing mustard yellow, I never would have known that a game was scheduled for that day, much less an important C-USA game against your supposed rival, the Pirates of ECU. (When two of your conference rivals are directional schools (UCF, ECU) and the third, Memphis, is named after a city, it doesn't speak highly of the little program y'all keep hidden in the Hub City.)
We arrived on campus to find the atmosphere far from festive. Grown men in jerseys, women in leopard print pants (The tailgate next to us featured five or six such women. They were all over fifty.), and various other hoodlums roamed your "scenic" campus. We were told that we wouldn't be tailgating in the world-renowned "District." It was explained to us that the District, which appeared to have been around 1/100th of an acre, was crawling with cops who sought to stop the raucous party that took place every home game as tens of transplanted Bama fans from Mobile and LSU fans from New Orleans gathered to watch SEC football and ignore the school they attend. Since the District was off limits, we tailgated across the street. The street separated us from the District by a span of ten or eleven feet. ( One foot for every Southern fan at the game.)
After watching SEC football all afternoon and hearing more ****** music than even Kid Rock could stomach, I came to the realization that the Southern Miss fans in attendance knew and cared more about SEC football than they did C-USA. Also, I learned that frats guys from Southern Miss openly discuss shopping at Urban Outfitters and that your women really, really enjoy copious amounts of makeup and the ridiculous "poof" that is so common amongst whores of the 99%. None of this surprised me, though. This is exactly what I imagined it would be like. After all, those kids from PRCC and MGCCC had to attend somewhere after they spent the previous four years earning their associate's degree.
And lest I forget, Southern fan(s) hate Ole Miss with a passion that has to be witnessed to be believed. It was the only passion I witnessed on the trip.
After waltzing into the stadium (not having to wait in line is nice), we sat down. It was about ten minutes to kick off. The stadium was practically vacant. I mean this. There are more State students in the State section section at 5:30 for a 7 p.m. game than there all total people in "The Rock" minutes before kick off. Southern came out and flexed their talons, and the Eagles led something like 20-0 at the half. We decided to leave. So did everyone else in the stadium. What fanbase leaves at halftime when they are beating the **** out of a so-called rival in a supposedly important C-USA match up?
We left and went to Mugshots. So did everyone else, apparently. I quickly figured out why: SEC football was on television. Of all the TVs in the old Hattisburg Mugshots, only one was showing the Southern game. The two or three large TVs directly above the bar were showing the Florida/LSU game and another game that I can't recall. Everyone was crowded around the bar to witness their beloved LSU Tigahs defeat Florida on a patented Les Miles trick play. When the play happened, the place erupted. Southern, which was locked in a close battle with the supposedly reviled Pirates, might as well have been playing in Alaska. No one watched the game. No one mentioned the game. It was an afterthought; just like your university as a whole.
Not only was the speed of the game noticeable slower than a SEC game, but your players didn't look anywhere comparable to the guys that line SEC rosters. This was most noticeable on the OL and DL. Both schools lineman looked small, slow and weak. The Liberty Bowl has shown us that they usually are.
You can come over here and brag about your wins this year, your wins in past years, your custom polyester wind suit that you wear to all home games, your trashy women, and etc. Really, you can. If that takes your mind off the fact that your glorified junior college will never register on the local radar ( There are only two colleges in Mississippi. That is how it has always been. That is how it always will be.), then I am willing to tolerate your pathetic posting. If my school were dependent on state funds to field an athletic program and had the smallest budget in a conference full of small ****, I would try desperately to make people think I exist as well. Thankfully, I don't have to do that. State may suck *** at most everything, but we will never be Southern Miss. For that, I am grateful.
First of off, I will admit to being excited about the trip. I had heard countless stories of adult women wearing leopard/cheetah/tiger print pants, frat guys with tribal tats, sorority bitches with too much make up and Snookiesque hair, and etc. I wanted to see such trashiness first hand. I saw it all right, and I saw much, much more.
The ride from Starkville to the Hub City was awesome in its on way. The Pine Belt never fails to disappoint, and we were fortunate enough to see yard sales, meth heads, illegitimate children, the Collins Zoo and many more local attractions on the way down. We also saw a snake-handling church ( I assume) with a sign that said: "Enter to win a free trip to Paradise." We took this as an omen that our trip would be successful in ways we never could have imagined.
Arriving in Hattiesburg, we found the town devoid of anything resembling a cool college neighborhood. In fact, if we hadn't been wearing mustard yellow, I never would have known that a game was scheduled for that day, much less an important C-USA game against your supposed rival, the Pirates of ECU. (When two of your conference rivals are directional schools (UCF, ECU) and the third, Memphis, is named after a city, it doesn't speak highly of the little program y'all keep hidden in the Hub City.)
We arrived on campus to find the atmosphere far from festive. Grown men in jerseys, women in leopard print pants (The tailgate next to us featured five or six such women. They were all over fifty.), and various other hoodlums roamed your "scenic" campus. We were told that we wouldn't be tailgating in the world-renowned "District." It was explained to us that the District, which appeared to have been around 1/100th of an acre, was crawling with cops who sought to stop the raucous party that took place every home game as tens of transplanted Bama fans from Mobile and LSU fans from New Orleans gathered to watch SEC football and ignore the school they attend. Since the District was off limits, we tailgated across the street. The street separated us from the District by a span of ten or eleven feet. ( One foot for every Southern fan at the game.)
After watching SEC football all afternoon and hearing more ****** music than even Kid Rock could stomach, I came to the realization that the Southern Miss fans in attendance knew and cared more about SEC football than they did C-USA. Also, I learned that frats guys from Southern Miss openly discuss shopping at Urban Outfitters and that your women really, really enjoy copious amounts of makeup and the ridiculous "poof" that is so common amongst whores of the 99%. None of this surprised me, though. This is exactly what I imagined it would be like. After all, those kids from PRCC and MGCCC had to attend somewhere after they spent the previous four years earning their associate's degree.
And lest I forget, Southern fan(s) hate Ole Miss with a passion that has to be witnessed to be believed. It was the only passion I witnessed on the trip.
After waltzing into the stadium (not having to wait in line is nice), we sat down. It was about ten minutes to kick off. The stadium was practically vacant. I mean this. There are more State students in the State section section at 5:30 for a 7 p.m. game than there all total people in "The Rock" minutes before kick off. Southern came out and flexed their talons, and the Eagles led something like 20-0 at the half. We decided to leave. So did everyone else in the stadium. What fanbase leaves at halftime when they are beating the **** out of a so-called rival in a supposedly important C-USA match up?
We left and went to Mugshots. So did everyone else, apparently. I quickly figured out why: SEC football was on television. Of all the TVs in the old Hattisburg Mugshots, only one was showing the Southern game. The two or three large TVs directly above the bar were showing the Florida/LSU game and another game that I can't recall. Everyone was crowded around the bar to witness their beloved LSU Tigahs defeat Florida on a patented Les Miles trick play. When the play happened, the place erupted. Southern, which was locked in a close battle with the supposedly reviled Pirates, might as well have been playing in Alaska. No one watched the game. No one mentioned the game. It was an afterthought; just like your university as a whole.
Not only was the speed of the game noticeable slower than a SEC game, but your players didn't look anywhere comparable to the guys that line SEC rosters. This was most noticeable on the OL and DL. Both schools lineman looked small, slow and weak. The Liberty Bowl has shown us that they usually are.
You can come over here and brag about your wins this year, your wins in past years, your custom polyester wind suit that you wear to all home games, your trashy women, and etc. Really, you can. If that takes your mind off the fact that your glorified junior college will never register on the local radar ( There are only two colleges in Mississippi. That is how it has always been. That is how it always will be.), then I am willing to tolerate your pathetic posting. If my school were dependent on state funds to field an athletic program and had the smallest budget in a conference full of small ****, I would try desperately to make people think I exist as well. Thankfully, I don't have to do that. State may suck *** at most everything, but we will never be Southern Miss. For that, I am grateful.
