Interesting Lawsuit

grinningmule

Heisman
Jul 15, 2021
3,479
11,998
113
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Jeffreauxdawg

theoriginalSALTYdog

All-Conference
Jul 10, 2021
1,485
1,919
113
Well since his NFL career is over maybe he has an alternative career in the porn industry with a stage name of "the incredible bulk".
 

Dawgbite

All-American
Nov 1, 2011
8,697
9,242
113
dave chappelle GIF
 
  • Like
Reactions: GloryDawg
Dec 1, 2025
197
304
63
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
To have such an endowment, he sure sounds like a whiny little school in Oxford.

Maybe this is a 3D chess move to amplify his ex-wife’s words so that the women in the back could hear.
 

Jeffreauxdawg

All-American
Dec 15, 2017
8,803
7,683
113
“two Coke cans, maybe even a third,”
It's tricky, but it can be done. The tricky part is actually the exit. I'd probably insert a couple mentos in first and that way when it hits refusal, one of the mentos will push down on that top and shoot down into the can. From there it's just a little chemistry experiment, but they'll blow right back out the ole 2 hole with prejudice is my guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: grinningmule

randystewart

Junior
Jan 14, 2009
1,181
314
83
NFL veteran Matt Kalil, 36, is suing his ex-wife, Haley Kalil, after she made comments about his manhood on a recent livestream that he claims were “invasive” and ruined his chances of staying out of the public eye after his NFL retirement.

Haley made the comments in November on Marlon Garcia’s Mar-Athon livestream, when she described her ex-husband’s manhood as “two Coke cans, maybe even a third,” and said that his penis size was a factor in the couple’s 2022 divorce.

--I mean damn, that is significantly better than her holding up a vienna sausage and wagging it around as descriptor.
The person I feel sorry for the most in all of this is her new boyfriend
 

TTKADawg

Senior
Sep 20, 2024
980
620
93
If I can get into the public eye as a 3 Coke Can Dick … I mean … why fight that? Even if exaggeration lol. Damn!!