It may have already been posted, but think of all

Nov 16, 2005
26,488
18,318
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What if they’re not actually their pet or kid?
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RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
18,492
1,769
113
One of my friends named his dog Saban. When Saban left, I asked him if he was going to change the dog's name to DeBoer. He hasn't yet. Waiting on the next Saban I suppose.
 
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CochiseCowbell

Heisman
Oct 29, 2012
13,574
10,241
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How's his relationship with the blowfish?

Welp, you just hijacked the thread.

I was 16 driving a 1984 Jeep Cherokee with chrome Cadillac decals on the doors. Dad had acquired them somehow and he always wanted a Cadillac. That's right, we had the first Escalade.

This was his hunting vehicle, but I was allowed to drive it when he didn't need it. My sister previously did the same in High School. I was allowed to take a friend home one night. First time night driving. I pulled behind a Scottish Rites Masonic Lodge for a smoke break. Empty parking lot. As soon as I got back in and headed for the exit 2 cop cars pulled in blocking my path.

I'd never been stopped by the police before. First, I put it in park and hopped out of the vehicle. Thought twice about it and got back in. 2 more cars showed up with lights on. The officer asked what I was doing, then had me step out of the vehicle.

"Got anything in your pockets, Son?"

"I don't think so, sir" as I stuck my hands in my pocket.

Officer shined the light directly in my face, stepped back a few feet, with hand on firearm. "SON! Slowly pull your hands out. SLOWLY!"

Ashen faced, "Oh, ****..."

Things settled down and he searched me. They were looking for a black man that had just robbed a liquor store at gun point in the nearby strip mall. They asked me if I'd seen anyone that matched the description they had or anyone at all. They asked to search my vehicle. I was a frightened youngster, so I acquiesced.

In the back they found a photograph of my sister and, yep, Darius Rucker. She'd met him in an airport and got a picture with him.

"Who's this?"

"My sister and Hooty, sir."

"Is that his drug name? His street name?"

"What? No. At least I don't think so. He's the singer with The Blowfish. Ya know, Hooty and The Blowfish?"

I was not arrested for "underage smoking." I got home late that night with one hell of an excuse and a story.
 
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Dawgbite

All-American
Nov 1, 2011
8,196
8,294
113
Welp, you just hijacked the thread.

I was 16 driving a 1984 Jeep Cherokee with chrome Cadillac decals on the doors. Dad had acquired them somehow and he always wanted a Cadillac. That's right, we had the first Escalade.

This was his hunting vehicle, but I was allowed to drive it when he didn't need it. My sister previously did the same in High School. I was allowed to take a friend home one night. First time night driving. I pulled behind a Scottish Rites Masonic Lodge for a smoke break. Empty parking lot. As soon as I got back in and headed for the exit 2 cop cars pulled in blocking my path.

I'd never been stopped by the police before. First, I put it in park and hopped out of the vehicle. Thought twice about it and got back in. 2 more cars showed up with lights on. The officer asked what I was doing, then had me step out of the vehicle.

"Got anything in your pockets, Son?"

"I don't think so, sir" as I stuck my hands in my pocket.

Officer shined the light directly in my face, stepped back a few feet, with hand on firearm. "SON! Slowly pull your hands out. SLOWLY!"

Ashen faced, "Oh, ****..."

Things settled down and he searched me. They were looking for a black man that had just robbed a liquor store at gun point in the nearby strip mall. They asked me if I'd seen anyone that matched the description they had or anyone at all. They asked to search my vehicle. I was a frightened youngster, so I acquiesced.

In the back they found a photograph of my sister and, yep, Darius Rucker. She'd met him in an airport and got a picture with him.

"Who's this?"

"My sister and Hooty, sir."

"Is that his drug name? His street name?"

"What? No. At least I don't think so. He's the singer with The Blowfish. Ya know, Hooty and The Blowfish?"

I was not arrested for "underage smoking." I got home late that night with one hell of an excuse and a story.
Mrs personal car had to go to Tuscaloosa for a recall, she had a company car she drove all the time. Recall had been done for over a week and every day they called wanting us to come pick it up but both of us were busy and Tuscaloosa was over an hour away. I’d had an oil change and service done so I owed them some money. I finally gave them a cc over the phone and told the guy to park it where I could get to it and lock the keys in it, I’d bring the spare and I’d come pick it up that night. I get my brother in law to take me to Tuscaloosa, we stop in Columbus for a box of chicken and a six pack of beer for the ride. The trip over was uneventful. Get to the dealership and get in her car, which I never drove and didn’t know where anything was located. I finally get the seat set, the radio set, the lights on, buckled up, and head out of the parking lot. As I’m pulling out on McFarland Blv I meet a cop and he does a U turn in my mirror. Minor panic sets in, I’ve had three beers and three pieces of chicken? What’s the BAC in Alabama? That’s when I see the second cop who promptly pulls out behind me along side #1. That’s when I see that I’m meeting cop #3. In a split second cop #3 dives in front of me and I slam on the brakes. Cop#2 pulls up on my left blocking me from swerving. There’s a retaining wall to my right and cop #1 pulls right up to my bumper. Now I’m panicking, I’m going to jail for DUI. Cop #1 is at my window, one hand on his holstered gun, one hand knocking on the window. I’m hitting every button on the door trying to roll the window down never realizing that the window controls were on the console rather than the door. In my mind, they want to talk to me face to face, just open the door since I can’t roll the window down. BIG mistake! Cop #1 jerks my *** out of the car, cop#2 and cop#3 have pulled their pistols. All three are screaming. They proceeded to throw me on the hood of the patrol car and cuff me. As I’m laying across the hood of the cop car I look across the street into a parking lot and there is my brother in law sitting and watching all this unfolding. He’s seen the whole thing transpiring in his rear view and circled back to gawk. They start questioning me about the car. Apparently I had only turned on the marker lights and not the headlights and they thought I had stolen the car. They run the car registration and see that it matches my drivers license. They uncuff me and send me on my way. Luckily three beers didn’t make me mouthy enough to demand an apology.