Long, but entertaining read on LUS-Tenn debacle ...

[Shmuley]

Beginning with the ill-fated final drive.

Jarrett Lee throws a pass into triple coverage to start the sequence. Jarrett Lee, he of the multiple pick sixes and benching two years ago. He's back, and that's how bad LSU's offense is at this point with Jordan Jefferson attempting to "make pass go that way into hands." They now use him as a kind of running quarterback, which he's not. That would be Russell Shepherd, who is now a wide receiver who never gets the ball. Jordan Jefferson, the non-running QB, scored LSU's only TD to this point in the game on a wholly uncontested 83 yard run through the gut of the Tennessee defense. You knew the demons were in charge of this game from this play forward, and also that when you run on offense as nonsensically as LSU does, the only logical cure is to face an equally nonsensical defense. Tennessee rose to that challenge, and we toast you for this, Volunteers.

LSU gets the ball on the two as a result of a pass interference penalty (natch) and does what any good coach would do with three downs and a running clock with 32 seconds left in the game: call a quarterback sweep with your non-running running quarterback. Like much of Dangermouse and Cee-Lo's work together, the matchup of Gary Crowton's playcalling and Les Miles' attitude makes for sometimes nonsensical but always disturbing, affecting work.

The clock runs. You do two things when you might want to stop the clock on the goal-line down 14-10 with a running clock. You may spike it---wait, that's not happening. There's a thing about spiking the ball at LSU, if you'll recall. They could call time out, but they have no timeouts because Les Miles is pretty sure the federal government demands those back at the end of the year if you don't spend them all. Though they've been on the two yard line ever since the pass interference penalty, the LSU offensive staff suddenly remembers OH MY GOD WE HAVE A GOAL LINE PACKAGE and sets off a fire drill the People's Republic of China would call "disgracefully hurried and chaotic."

Huge men sprint off the field and onto it. The clock winds. Les Miles is seen throwing live chickens onto the field. Who knows where he got them, but they're all part of the plan now. The LSU sideline's complete anarchy triggers a disproportionate reaction on the Tennessee sideline. They send off three men, put in four, and one of the three sent off rushes back onto the field like a child terrified of missing the school bus for a field trip. (This child then ends up in the wrong town because they got on the wrong bus.) Derek Dooley wraps the headset cord around his neck and attempts to choke himself to death rather than watch what's happening. The crowd silences itself by placing a eighty thousand bourbon bottles in eighty thousand mouths at once and draining them simultaneously.

Then the most magnificent part of the play happens. This sentence appears in its own box because everything about it is spectacular:

Then the ball is snapped with the game on the line between two major college football powers with one team having 13 men on the field and another with a non-running running quarterback who watches in horror as the ball is snapped over his head and covered for a game-ending busted play. THIS ALL HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE.

Competence is overrated as a form of entertainment while incompetence can be side-splitting stuff. I watched this in a bar full of people ... and the reactions were giddy not because of any real mass hatred toward both teams, but because they knew that with a quality arsonist like Miles on the sidelines something was getting set on fire: LSU, Tennessee, or possibly both. Oh, and LSU scored on the next play when a penalty was called on Tennessee for too many men on the field because a 9-4 defense is effective but highly illegal, and Tennessee players started weeping on the field.

I'm applauding, all of you, as loud and as hard as I can in your general directions. We shall not see another ending to match this beautiful hatchet job until next week when LSU beats Florida at home 7.5 to 2 on a blocked extra point and a half a point awarded for hitting all three crossbars on a single missed FG attempt. It's in the rulebook, look it up.

 

[patdog]

it's all true (except for the 3-crossbar rule - that doesn't exist).

 

[Bones.sixpack]

competent teams in the league? That was hilarious and very well written. Thanks

 

[FlabLoser]

I don't care who you are. That's funny right there.

 

[coach66]

stick is they are beginning construction on the hangman's platform and our friend Les ain't gonna make it.

 

[Hanmudog]

My football coaching knowledge is pretty much limited to Playstation but I am continually amazed at how many ways Miles can find to screw up in the last minute of a game. It is almost like he is trying to get fired but he accidently wins.

 

[JimHalpert.nafoom]

will be up in arms and rake LSU over the coals on shows like PTI and Around the Horn.

People from the SEC will think it makes perfect sense, though.

 

[Paperdawg]

LSU players should have been penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct after the dead ball, since the untimed down was played. I guess one could make an argument for USC on the Tennessee players and bench as well, but at the very least LSU should have gotten the USC for the helmet throwing and crap.

Even though they won, I thoroughly enjoyed the resounding boos given by the Red Stickians at the end of the game just before the penalty. I'm kind of hoping Miles keeps his job, because it could bode well for State in the coming years.

 

[patdog]

It would have been ridiculous to penalize LSU for throwing their helmets when everyone thought the game was over. The referees made the right call. Their only mistake was in not immediately announcing over the PA system that there was a flag on the play.

 

[JacksonTiger1]

Ron Higgins said that after LSU-UGA last year and others, officials will refrain from calling penalties on plays like that which could determine the outcome of the game.

 

[ckDOG]

That's the only thing I can think of. No HC in that position could possible be as stupid as he is.

Seriously though, regardless of buyouts, motives, or whether or not scrutinizing a 5-0 coach is warranted or not, Les Miles better be cutting John Chavis a check.

 

[fishwater99]

where Miles mis-managed the clock. There was one, but I can't remember.

thx

 

[DawgatAuburn]

There was also the TD pass on the last play to beat Auburn in 07. He didn't get called out too badly for that one but if that pass is incomplete they lose that game and by bye national championship.

 

[Oregon-Tiger]

does not include this year, so you can add UNC and UT to the list...

Click here

 

[Sutterkane]

you're right that they do have to call Tennessee for rushing the field. Offsetting UC penalties, LSU still gets the ball on the 1.

Play the end of that game up all you want, Tennessee should have never let them march down the field like that. How many long conversions did they have on that drive?

 

[thunderclap]

and largely unbelievable that one man could be so consistently lucky.</p>

 

[AssEndDawg]

You can not call a dead-ball penalty with zero time on the clock. Even if the game is extended by a defensive penalty. We went over it with the Alabama-UT game last year and it's been posted multiple times about this game. There is nothing in the rules allowing the refs to throw a dead-ball flag with zeros on the clock.