OM one-liners, need some help

[jb1020]

My dad has to introduce a guy to fairly large crowd at an upcoming MSU event. He said he needed a good one liner to open up with. <div>
</div><div>He came up with....What do OM fans do after they win the West in football? Turn off their playstations and go to bed. </div><div>
</div><div>For a 62 year old I thought that was solid, but he can do better. </div><div>
</div><div>Whatcha got? </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

 

[o_HubDawg]

..that's pretty good. Not bad at all. How the hell does a 62 year old know about playstation? BUT....it would be better if we had won more than once.

My favorite has always been "Why can't they have a nativity scene at Ole Miss?" A: Because they can't find 3 wise men and a virgin. But I doubt he could use that one.

 

[karlchilders.sixpack]

Just wondering...What is a Hotty Toddy?

Really?

 

[HammerOfTheDogs]

Three....two to mix drinks, and one to call Daddy.

 

[Hail State]

With a crowbar. Zing!

 

[DawgatAuburn]

The first being Highway 6.

 

[karlchilders.sixpack]

You know that is not going to work in a public setting!

But it made me laugh!

 

[AlCoDog]

nm

 

[o_HubDawg]

Q: What is an Ole Miss girl's favorite wine?
A: "Daddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I need a new CAR!"

 

[dstatechamps]

What do you get when you cross an Ole Miss fan/grad with a pig?<div>
</div><div>Nothing. There are some things a pig just will not do.</div>

 

[mjh94]

nm

 

[mjh94]

stolen from tigerdroppings circa 2007:

Q: Why should the Ole Miss change its name to the "Opossums"?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

I hear they are about to open up a SEARS store in Oxford.
With all the toolbags they have up there, it should be easier than most people think.

Q: What's the difference between Ole Miss and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Ole Miss library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours

Q: How do you get an Ole Miss grad off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza

Q: whats the one thing you never ask a rebel fan?
A: directions to Atlanta

Q: Why was Johnny Vaught buried at Vaught-Hemmingway Field?
A: He wanted to be as far away from major college football as he possible.

Q: How many Ole Miss cheerleaders does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Three. One to bake the cookies and 2 to peel the M & M's.

Q: If you see two Ole Miss players in the same car, who's driving?
A: The Mississippi Highway Patrol

Q: Why should you never run over an Ole Miss player who's riding a bike?
A: It's probably your bike.

 

[rawdawg14]

At Vaught-Hemmingway to put down cardboard...Someone finally figured out they are better on paper!

 

[coleman62]

They had to take up the grass to keep the cheerleaders from grazing

 

[pDigital32Dawg]

Q: Why should you never run over an Ole Miss player who's riding a bike?
A: It's probably your bike.

 

[jb1020]

for the Wed. lunch crowd.

Good stuff in here, most of it is not usable for the setting.

The turf one is pretty good. His playstation one might hold up, though I'm sure its not his, I've never heard it before.

Unfortunately, he can't degrade them too much, the people he's speaking too probably sons and daughters at OM.