OT - Describe your perfect burger

HomeBoyDawg

Senior
Oct 22, 2013
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We asked the Ward’s in Seminary what was the difference between the Big one and the Little one. Response: “The big one is bigger”. Straight faced, fupa out, and that was the final answer.
Well...hmmm...you asked. Bet they posted on some obscure sports blog "Can you believe a Ward's customer asked me today what was the difference between the Big One and the Little One???!!!"
 
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TXDawg.sixpack

All-Conference
Apr 10, 2009
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You can apply the mustard with the mayo. No problemo. Somebody else in this thread said ketchup on the side the dip the burger in and that is gospel. For some reason the ketchup dip is far superior to ketchup on the burger
I don't eat ketchup on my burgers, but I think it's always been a temperature thing. The ketchup dip would certainly solve that problem.
 
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TXDawg.sixpack

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Apr 10, 2009
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We asked the Ward’s in Seminary what was the difference between the Big one and the Little one. Response: “The big one is bigger”. Straight faced, fupa out, and that was the final answer.
Reminds me of the time my buddy asked about the "Deluxe Hot Dog Platter" at Hooters. Waitress' response was "It's a hot dog, honey."
 
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OopsICroomedmypants

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Sep 29, 2022
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I’ve recently discovered I enjoy smoking hamburgers on my kamado grill. Usually only flip them once and they stay juicy. I don’t use the heat deflector , but I put it on the top rack. Meat church gospel seasoning and soy sauce. Butter toasted bun, bacon, Mayo, dill pickles, tomato from the garden and blue cheese. I might add lettuce for texture. I put the Mayo on the bottom, tomato, bacon, burger, cheese, pickles.
 
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DT4248

Sophomore
Apr 22, 2025
149
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80/20. 1/3 lb.
Basic:
Pre-mix: A1, Tony Chacerie's, Salt, Garlic Power, State gunpowder seasoning, some diced onions.

Cook to medium and don't ****** burn the outside.

Cheddar or Edam on top.

Heinz Ketchup and Kosher Dill pickle chip slices.

Bread - I cheap out on cause I grew up poor. Two slices of wheat from a loaf is my preference.


BBQ style:
Replace A1 with A 1:1 mix of my personal hot honey and bww honey bbq. Seasoning stay the same.

Pepper jack cheese instead

More of the "sweet honey heat" and pickle chips.

Bread - toast it with butter, parm, garlic. Cheese on both sides.
 
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Jacknut

Junior
Sep 29, 2022
218
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Smashed, Bash, whatever, it has to be seasoned well. After that cheese, pickles and onions. Sometimes i want mayo, sometimes not, but always ketchup and mustard.
 

idog

Freshman
Aug 17, 2010
577
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28
1/3 lb Grass finished ground brisket burger w/bacon fat as a binder
Medium rare
On toasted Hawaiian roll
Romaine lettuce
Swiss cheese
Sliced Cherokee Purple tomato
Heinz ketchup
Spicy Dijon
Dukes mayo
Applewood smoked bacon
Fried pickles
Cute
IMG_0017.jpeg
 
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HotMop

All-Conference
May 8, 2006
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I’ve recently discovered I enjoy smoking hamburgers on my kamado grill. Usually only flip them once and they stay juicy. I don’t use the heat deflector , but I put it on the top rack. Meat church gospel seasoning and soy sauce. Butter toasted bun, bacon, Mayo, dill pickles, tomato from the garden and blue cheese. I might add lettuce for texture. I put the Mayo on the bottom, tomato, bacon, burger, cheese, pickles.
You see, the butter toasting the buns is a secret in itself, it can make or break a burger.
 

HotMop

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May 8, 2006
6,513
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80/20. 1/3 lb.
Basic:
Pre-mix: A1, Tony Chacerie's, Salt, Garlic Power, State gunpowder seasoning, some diced onions.

Cook to medium and don't ****** burn the outside.

Cheddar or Edam on top.

Heinz Ketchup and Kosher Dill pickle chip slices.

Bread - I cheap out on cause I grew up poor. Two slices of wheat from a loaf is my preference.


BBQ style:
Replace A1 with A 1:1 mix of my personal hot honey and bww honey bbq. Seasoning stay the same.

Pepper jack cheese instead

More of the "sweet honey heat" and pickle chips.

Bread - toast it with butter, parm, garlic. Cheese on both sides.
80/20 is sacrilegious for a hamburger, 60/40 for a delicious juicy burger. Unless your into that dry *** shiat.
 

ckDOG

All-Conference
Dec 11, 2007
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For me, it all starts with the meat blend, but I'm not super picky. If a store has any of the fancy stuff on sale, I might pick it up, but 80/20 ground chuck is just fine.

Seasoning is salt, pepper, garlic, and worcestershire and very light mixing by hand.

For the grill, I like a flat top on a charcoal grill. Smashburger style on high heat to get a good crust, but I don't like them flattened into pancakes. Just down to 1/2" or so that you've still got something to bite into and you're not squeezing out all the fat

Sprinkle with a good steak seasoning right before they're finished and melt pepper jack on top

Toast a good brioche or potato bun with some butter, hit it with horseradish mayo, mustard, grilled onions, pickles, and lettuce. Every once in awhile, two bacon slices or fried onions instead of grilled.

Devour

How about y'all?

Only real tendency I've had recently is toward smash burger style. I enjoy a good crust but otherwise I'm not too particular as long as the grill master doesn't dry the patty out on the grill. But hell if that description you laid out doesn't give me a chub. I'd eat the hell out of that. Only change for me would be ketchup for mustard but it's not a deal breaker
 

cowbell88

Senior
Jan 11, 2009
3,066
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#56 in this thread and no mention of ground deer meat or venison burgers. What is wrong with you people?

My processor grounds my deer meat and mixes the perfect amount of beef fat and bacon into the mix. Grill em and put a slice of Edam on and they are just amazing.
 

FreeDawg

Junior
Oct 6, 2010
3,728
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#56 in this thread and no mention of ground deer meat or venison burgers. What is wrong with you people?

My processor grounds my deer meat and mixes the perfect amount of beef fat and bacon into the mix. Grill em and put a slice of Edam on and they are just amazing.
Because venison burgers aren’t good. Sorry had to say it. You have to add other animal fat and then do 10 layers of window dressing to make it edible.
 

onewoof

All-American
Mar 4, 2008
12,648
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Because venison burgers aren’t good. Sorry had to say it. You have to add other animal fat and then do 10 layers of window dressing to make it edible.
cut to the chase - just dry the deer meet out altogether and eat it as leather jerky for survival purposes only...
 
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thatsbaseball

All-American
May 29, 2007
17,423
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For me, it all starts with the meat blend, but I'm not super picky. If a store has any of the fancy stuff on sale, I might pick it up, but 80/20 ground chuck is just fine.

Seasoning is salt, pepper, garlic, and worcestershire and very light mixing by hand.

For the grill, I like a flat top on a charcoal grill. Smashburger style on high heat to get a good crust, but I don't like them flattened into pancakes. Just down to 1/2" or so that you've still got something to bite into and you're not squeezing out all the fat

Sprinkle with a good steak seasoning right before they're finished and melt pepper jack on top

Toast a good brioche or potato bun with some butter, hit it with horseradish mayo, mustard, grilled onions, pickles, and lettuce. Every once in awhile, two bacon slices or fried onions instead of grilled.

Devour

How about y'all?

Describe your perfect burger​

One that cost less than a 12 pack of beer.
 

QuaoarsKing

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Mar 11, 2008
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I don't really care whether things are above or below the meat because I eat some of the bites upside down anyway.
 
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Oct 29, 2009
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If you guys like something a little different.....check out Half a Pond on Twitter.....they are the makers of Kentucky Rebel Scum hot sauce....they have 4-5 of them they make homemade, it's 'hot sauce' but more like a Heinz 57 type consistency.....Chef Gruel (a restauranteur in SoCal with a pretty dang large following) highlighted them when he went looking for something for his burgers at his restaurant. I bought a jar of it and now that is what all my family wants on their burgers. I just ordered my 3rd bottle since January.
 

FreshAsHail

All-Conference
Nov 7, 2023
4,499
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For me, it all starts with the meat blend, but I'm not super picky. If a store has any of the fancy stuff on sale, I might pick it up, but 80/20 ground chuck is just fine.

Seasoning is salt, pepper, garlic, and worcestershire and very light mixing by hand.

For the grill, I like a flat top on a charcoal grill. Smashburger style on high heat to get a good crust, but I don't like them flattened into pancakes. Just down to 1/2" or so that you've still got something to bite into and you're not squeezing out all the fat

Sprinkle with a good steak seasoning right before they're finished and melt pepper jack on top

Toast a good brioche or potato bun with some butter, hit it with horseradish mayo, mustard, grilled onions, pickles, and lettuce. Every once in awhile, two bacon slices or fried onions instead of grilled.

Devour

How about y'all?
Hamburger meat (Don't matter blend as long as it's hamburger meat) Hamburger bun, lettuce, tomato, mustard, ketchup, onions.
 

Trojanbulldog19

All-American
Aug 25, 2014
9,496
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80/20
Tony's
Pepper
Season salt
2 eggs
Worcestershire sauce
About medium with plenty of drippings still. Prefer on the skillet.
onions on the skillet
Pepper jack cheese melted
Bacon
Nice brioche bun
Bbq sauce

now if I don't go onions on skillet and bbq sauce

American cheese melted
Red onion
Pickle
Bacon
Mayo
mustard
Ketchup
 

dorndawg

All-American
Sep 10, 2012
8,287
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Whenever I have to make that drive on hwy 49 she always looks at me so seductively from that billboard. When wards is good it's good when it's bad it's still okay
It would be hard for me to put into words how good their biscuits* were in the 80/90s. I haven’t had one in 20 years but I’ve heard from multiple folks they’re bad to mid these days.


* link sausage/grape jelly was my go-to; no wrong way to eat a biscuit
 
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