OT: When’s the last time you got hammered drunk?

Lettucexxxx

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Oct 16, 2012
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I got off at lunch yesterday and eased down to my favorite watering hole. What looked like a normal setting, turned into a night I wish I could have remembered.

At least one of you ******** were with me.

The last thing I can remember, I had a glass of Jamison, 1 rock.....siting on the goddamn floor..up against the wall next to former lead singer of Bishop Gunn..watching the band...happy

But that’s not the tale of the tape....allegedly....the night ended with me and a good buddy wrestling until we about caused a riot......like all saloon full on movie bloopers goofy. The wrestling match ensued on into the dance floor where a barstool gets thrown...then the goddamn table falls on us. I mean what on gods green earth happens to people when they drink Jamison? It’s some 17ing invincibility pills up in that ****.

I woke up with a very nice homeless guy on my couch. No 17ing cell phone. My head feels like Alcorn St Marching band up there...this dude wakes up talking about cereal and a solo cup. My left eye is black. My jaw hurts and my left knuckle is swollen.

My buddy doesn’t remember, has no clue. My tailbone I think is broke. Thank god I was on foot. But for some reason my truck was kinda smashed into my gate. Glad it was at least locked. I’m just now able to dry myself off after multiple dry heaving, sweat convulsions. My phone was under the passed out drifter. ***** kinda coming together. I’m not drinking for an extended period of time.
 
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PooPopsBaldHead

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Dec 15, 2017
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...My left eye is black. My jaw hurts and my left knuckle is swollen.... My buddy doesn’t remember, has no clue. My tailbone I think is broke.


That's why you don't start drinking before you head out.. Cause you didn't go to the Gothic Castle like you thought.

View attachment 20367

Is this you and your buddy? I'm thinking he might be hiding the truth from you.
View attachment 20368
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
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Black out level? Spring of sophomore year...so 2001.
Apparently I picked up our main TV and threw it to a friend. This chick actually 17ing caught it as it drove her into the wall.
All this was me happy, it was a fun party.
I'm told I did this because I don't remember. Related note- the next morning was my turn to rent the carpet cleaner.
Also related note- I haven't touched tequila since this happened.


Stopped drinking g a couple years ago- just became...meh. I won't drink with my kids around, I'm not one to just casually have a single beer, and I'd rather hang with my family or go for a ride than go to a bar for hours on end.
Figured the logical conclusion is to just not drink so I stopped.

Maybe I'll pick it back up when the kids are gone. I'll sit around Bundy style and drink away my failures.
 
Sep 12, 2013
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I’ve never blacked out. Some people do, some don’t, who knows.

Might took some drugs and forgot about it lettuce.

I’m drunk right now watching fights tho.
 

uptowndawg

Well-known member
Jul 15, 2010
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Last night, or tonight...

I got off at lunch yesterday and eased down to my favorite watering hole. What looked like a normal setting, turned into a night I wish I could have remembered.

At least one of you ******** were with me.

The last thing I can remember, I had a glass of Jamison, 1 rock.....siting on the goddamn floor..up against the wall next to former lead singer of Bishop Gunn..watching the band...happy

But that’s not the tale of the tape....allegedly....the night ended with me and a good buddy wrestling until we about caused a riot......like all saloon full on movie bloopers goofy. The wrestling match ensued on into the dance floor where a barstool gets thrown...then the goddamn table falls on us. I mean what on gods green earth happens to people when they drink Jamison? It’s some 17ing invincibility pills up in that ****.

I woke up with a very nice homeless guy on my couch. No 17ing cell phone. My head feels like Alcorn St Marching band up there...this dude wakes up talking about cereal and a solo cup. My left eye is black. My jaw hurts and my left knuckle is swollen.

My buddy doesn’t remember, has no clue. My tailbone I think is broke. Thank god I was on foot. But for some reason my truck was kinda smashed into my gate. Glad it was at least locked. I’m just now able to dry myself off after multiple dry heaving, sweat convulsions. My phone was under the passed out drifter. ***** kinda coming together. I’m not drinking for an extended period of time.

Either way, I can’t be certain until tomorrow.
 

Grove Sh*tter

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Aug 25, 2014
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Wednesday will make 8 years since I've had a drink. I had just turned 34. I knew my drinking habits were trending towards full on alcoholism, but I couldn't let it go. It's a long personal story of struggling with the internal man, the spiritual man.

My relationship with booze ended after an incident that didn't even involve alcohol. It involved life and death. I was convinced that my habitual drinking -rebellious drinking- would cost me everything. God had mercy on me, and that part of me that was a slave to alcohol died.

Hey, guess what. Life is better, now. And my kids won't know what it's like to have an alcoholic father. Kudos to everyone who can let booze serve him, but when you start to serve it, it's time to be honest with yourself and remember what/who is most important.
 

IBleedMaroonDawg

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2007
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I haven't since I was in my teens. Had to grow up fast due to my own decisions. When I re-singled I was the dude that made sure everyone got home. Stayed that way even as a Dad and I don't feel abused. I keep threatening to have one of those drunks to keep everyone honest.

If that thing that could never happen to MSU ever happens all bets are off and someone better put me on alcohol poisoning watch. There wouldn't be enough tequila in Texas if that ever happened. One of you TexASS Dawgs better have me on a lifeline.

Being a professional drinker has its advantages.
 

IBleedMaroonDawg

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2007
24,464
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I got off at lunch yesterday and eased down to my favorite watering hole. What looked like a normal setting, turned into a night I wish I could have remembered.

At least one of you ******** were with me.

The last thing I can remember, I had a glass of Jamison, 1 rock.....siting on the goddamn floor..up against the wall next to former lead singer of Bishop Gunn..watching the band...happy

But that’s not the tale of the tape....allegedly....the night ended with me and a good buddy wrestling until we about caused a riot......like all saloon full on movie bloopers goofy. The wrestling match ensued on into the dance floor where a barstool gets thrown...then the goddamn table falls on us. I mean what on gods green earth happens to people when they drink Jamison? It’s some 17ing invincibility pills up in that ****.

I woke up with a very nice homeless guy on my couch. No 17ing cell phone. My head feels like Alcorn St Marching band up there...this dude wakes up talking about cereal and a solo cup. My left eye is black. My jaw hurts and my left knuckle is swollen.

My buddy doesn’t remember, has no clue. My tailbone I think is broke. Thank god I was on foot. But for some reason my truck was kinda smashed into my gate. Glad it was at least locked. I’m just now able to dry myself off after multiple dry heaving, sweat convulsions. My phone was under the passed out drifter. ***** kinda coming together. I’m not drinking for an extended period of time.

SixPack 'Members*
 

horshack.sixpack

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Oct 30, 2012
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I stopped drinking after a similar session. Kept it out of the house while I had kids to keep them from doing what I did and start draining the liquor cabinet at way too early of an age. Now I keep red wine and beer around for when I feel like having a drink with a meal or just after a hot day in the yard. I still won't have more than 2 - 3 drinks on any given evening and never approach buzzed/drunk. I value my health too much to subject my poor liver to too much stress after my teenage and early 20's. I don't much care how long I live, I just wanna LIVE the whole time. Funny the feedback I got when I abstained for all those years. For some reason alcohol is the only drug that you are expected to have some reason that you don't partake.
 

horshack.sixpack

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Oct 30, 2012
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Kudos to you. Completely agree. It's really important to know who is in control and not ever allow it to be a substance.
 

aTotal360

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Nov 12, 2009
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Pro tip: Edit out that part about your tailbone. I'd hate to think you were "beta testing".
 

greenbean.sixpack

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Oct 6, 2012
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I've been hammered drunk many times. Maybe the most memorable (from the point i woke up) was on a remote tour in Asia in the late 80s. This particular place was wild, with alcohol and debauchery flowing freely. I woke up on the floor in a national's apartment with half a dozen young local women strewn about in various stages of undress. I awoke realizing I was in an unknown place and likely the only person who spoke english, I used my elite military training to make a stealthy egress. I eventually found the base, but the gate didn't open until 0600, so I had to sleep the rest of the night with my back against the guard shack. That year will probably take 5 years off the back end of my life, but It was well worth it. Thank goodness there were no cell phones back then.
 
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mstateglfr

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Feb 24, 2008
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For some reason alcohol is the only drug that you are expected to have some reason that you don't partake.

truth.
There is a longstanding joke about how alcoholism is the only disease you get blamed for vs pitied.
And along those lines, yeah its the only drug where if you dont participate, its sometimes questioned and assumed you dont because you are an alcoholic.

Smokers arent questioned why they quit, nobody has followed up offering me a cigarette with 'well why not?', Ive been offered coke and a simple no from me was all that was needed in that situation, etc etc.
 

Dawg1979

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Jun 23, 2015
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I've been hammered drunk many times. Maybe the most memorable (from the point i woke up) was on a remote tour in Asia in the late 80s. This particular place was wild, with alcohol and debauchery flowing freely. I woke up on the floor in a national's apartment with half a dozen young local women strewn about in various stages of undress. I awoke realizing I was in an unknown place and likely the only person who spoke english, I used my elite military training to make a stealthy egress. I eventually found the base, but the gate didn't open until 0600, so I had to sleep of the rest of the night with my back against the guard shack. That year will probably take 5 years off the back end of my life, but It was well worth it. Thank goodness there were no cell phones back then.


buddy at state had a similar story. he woke up with a bunch of Asian ladies, most nekkid. none spoke any English except "condom". he was supposed to be in Hong Kong for another 3 months on study abroad program, he left the next morning. lots of STD tests followed.
 

Mobile Bay

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Jul 26, 2020
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buddy at state had a similar story. he woke up with a bunch of Asian ladies, most nekkid. none spoke any English except "condom". he was supposed to be in Hong Kong for another 3 months on study abroad program, he left the next morning. lots of STD tests followed.

I had a buddy of mine who ruined his life like this. State grad. Goes to work in the oilfield. Gets shipped to Singapore. Bangs a bunch of hookers. Comes back and gets like a staph infection down there and spills the beans to his wife. I haven't spoken to him in years. The last time just confirmed what a selfish prick he always was.
 

Ghostman

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Apr 12, 2021
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Never for me. I never liked the taste of any kind of alcohol, so I never drank much of any of it.
 

horshack.sixpack

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Oct 30, 2012
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"... its sometimes questioned and assumed you dont because you are an alcoholic."

Or a Baptist teetotaler...no in between. Like it can't be a rational strategic decision.
 

jdbulldog

Active member
Oct 27, 2007
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Well done, sir.

Wednesday will make 8 years since I've had a drink. I had just turned 34. I knew my drinking habits were trending towards full on alcoholism, but I couldn't let it go. It's a long personal story of struggling with the internal man, the spiritual man.

My relationship with booze ended after an incident that didn't even involve alcohol. It involved life and death. I was convinced that my habitual drinking -rebellious drinking- would cost me everything. God had mercy on me, and that part of me that was a slave to alcohol died.

Hey, guess what. Life is better, now. And my kids won't know what it's like to have an alcoholic father. Kudos to everyone who can let booze serve him, but when you start to serve it, it's time to be honest with yourself and remember what/who is most important.
 

CochiseCowbell

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Oct 29, 2012
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This story is precisely why I rarely drink liquor. And by rarely, I mean an occasional shot among the beers.
 

Drebin

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Aug 22, 2012
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Wednesday will make 8 years since I've had a drink. I had just turned 34. I knew my drinking habits were trending towards full on alcoholism, but I couldn't let it go. It's a long personal story of struggling with the internal man, the spiritual man.

My relationship with booze ended after an incident that didn't even involve alcohol. It involved life and death. I was convinced that my habitual drinking -rebellious drinking- would cost me everything. God had mercy on me, and that part of me that was a slave to alcohol died.

Hey, guess what. Life is better, now. And my kids won't know what it's like to have an alcoholic father. Kudos to everyone who can let booze serve him, but when you start to serve it, it's time to be honest with yourself and remember what/who is most important.

Excellent.
 

fishwater99

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Jun 4, 2007
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Lettuce

You got this... It's the shots that did you in.

I like to have a few drinks, but don't do shots except for once in Blue Moon..
Nothing like a cold beer or two after some yard work.
I usually drink bourbon a few times a week and red wine with dinner nightly.

You will recover and do it all again. It's all good.....
 
Sep 12, 2013
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Lettuce

You got this... It's the shots that did you in.

I like to have a few drinks, but don't do shots except for once in Blue Moon..
Nothing like a cold beer or two after some yard work.
I usually drink bourbon a few times a week and red wine with dinner nightly.

You will recover and do it all again. It's all good.....

This is a good perspective.

You only live once, get 17ing blistered every now and then.
 

Lettucexxxx

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Oct 16, 2012
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Lettuce

You got this... It's the shots that did you in.

I like to have a few drinks, but don't do shots except for once in Blue Moon..
Nothing like a cold beer or two after some yard work.
I usually drink bourbon a few times a week and red wine with dinner nightly.

You will recover and do it all again. It's all good.....

It ain’t easy being this stupid. I work hard at it.
 

Dawgg

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Sep 9, 2012
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Wednesday will make 8 years since I've had a drink. I had just turned 34.

Congratulations! This past St. Patrick’s Day marked 15 years for me. I stopped 2 weeks before my oldest was born. Best decision I ever made, really.

There are people out there that can drink and still be an effective parent. I just knew there was no way that I was going to be one of those people.
 

Dawgg

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Sep 9, 2012
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"... its sometimes questioned and assumed you dont because you are an alcoholic."

Or a Baptist teetotaler...no in between. Like it can't be a rational strategic decision.

This is the truth. Being in a social situation when you don’t drink is like being an alien sometimes.

John Mulaney talks about some of this in his stand-up and it’s pretty spot on.

 

hdogg

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Nov 21, 2014
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Great story!
I drink small amounts daily and am old w/ 2 kids, so it's been a while since I had a crazy night, and haven't had one quite as silly as this one.

BUT...
There was a night around 1999, where I got way hammered at a friend's house party, and got sick and passed out on the couch. Lots of people were there, but somehow I was the only one who slept over. Around 8:30am the next day, a few Jehovah's Witnesses rang the doorbell. The homeowners were still asleep, and they kept knocking, so I answered the door. They started into their speech, and then must have smelled the tequila on me (which I never drink now), and they must have realized that I was a lost cause. I tried to be nice but I'm sure I was still slurring/stuttering - I for sure was still drunk - and they just basically wished me good-luck. Pretty awesome.

My other time as 2004 at ACL fest when I snuck in vodka, disguised in a water bottle, and literally remember about 10 seconds of seeing one of my favorite bands - The Pixies. Later I hurled on my friends SUV door and tried to sleep in the bath tub because I figured I would throw up again and didn't want to do it in the bed. Luckily my fiance at the time (wife now) was smart enough to tell me to get my nekkid *** out of the bath tub before I had a jimi-hendrix-style death in the bath tub. She likely saved my life that night.

I've for sure been silly drunk in the past 15 years, but don't recall any good stories that went along with it. Last Friday I made brisket for the first time and stayed up late to drink and watch us lose to Missouri, and I promise I was way more hammered than usual because my brisket was awesome... but literally nothing good happenend and I just took a nap the next day. But it was ONE HELL OF A NAP!
 

Felonious Junk

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Oct 23, 2008
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Nice job man. I’m 15 months in my self. Best decision I’ve ever made. The benefits of not drinking vastly outweigh the few pleasures of drinking. It just takes a few weeks or months of sobriety to be able to see those distinctions clearly.