OT: You know what really grinds my gears?

[dorndawg]

• Gazpacho. Seriously, that ****'s nasty. I like everything in it fine; put it all together & it's garbage. Cold soup in general is disgusting.
• Wes Anderson movies. Good night, those things are atrocious & objectively bad. or at the very lest horrifically boring. You'll have a better go of it convincing me Ed Orgeron can do long division than making me enjoy a Wes Anderson movie.
• Any work email beginning "TEAM, _____". Particularly if you don't sign my check or for that matter even work for the same company.

That's all I've got for now - anything I missed?

 

[Wicked Pissah]

I like gazpacho but the second one made me laugh. I have no idea what the 3rd one is.

 

[Seinfeld]

It's been a pretty crappy week already, so I'll join the party

- People that try to sneak fruit into desserts. Ok, if the basis of the entire dessert is fruit(cobbler, apple pie, fruit salad, etc), I get it and it's fine. But the thing I can't stand is when someone makes something like a golden yellow cake with delicious praline icing, and then thinks "hey, why I don't just throw some chunks of pineapple or raisins in there?" WTF?

- The pretentious, hipster turn that the Oscars have taken over the last 6-8 years. Remember back when an actual good movie was able to be nominated for or even win a Best Picture? Gladiator, Forrest Gump, and Unforgiven? Now, with very few exceptions, it seems like if a movie isn't some trippy artist's existential perception on life, it doesn't have a chance. My hat's off to anyone that made it through Life of Pi or Beasts of the Southern Wild.

- Co-workers that aren't able to get away from work for just a few minutes even when you're out getting a beer.

- Women that openly berate other women that happen to not be as prudish as them. Seriously, a girl could be a cross between Kate Upton and Megan Fox, but if I were to overhear her telling someone how "slutty" another girl was acting or dressing, it would make me want to kick out the chair from under her.


It's funny you mention the "TEAM" one. I use that header every now and then, and it's basically my code word for saying "Alright guys, it's time for everyone to get their crap together and get serious".

 

[Xenomorph]

A few of mine...

- Guys who bring an old milk jug full of water to the gym. Seriously?.. like it's that much trouble to walk over to the water fountain that you've got to empty out a crusty jug of 2% and use that as your water bottle? That's just nasty...

- Music lovers who feel the need to wear a big *** red pair of Beats by Dr. Dre while they get their workout on. Right man.. like the quality of the music you're listening to is what's separating you from that Mr. Olympia title. ****, just go to walmart and buy a $10 pair of skull candy ear buds. You'll be just fine and you won't look like Warren.

- People who stand in line at Subway only to get to the first station and whip out a list from everyone in their whole damn office. Wait, wait, wait.. that's not how this **** works. One customer, one order... MAYBE two! If they wanted something they should've rolled their fat asses down here.

-Too-Fat-to-Shop-Carts.. When did this phenomenon become so prevalent? There's a whole generation of 55 year old fat asses out there who've let their bodies degenerate to the point where they're no longer viable customers because they can't even walk around a store.. so what do we do? Provide free electric carts in every store so they can go buy more **** they don't need. Awesome. Seriously.. isn't this why Al Gore invented Amazon Prime??

 

[dorndawg]

#3, SO much.

 

[rabiddawg]

Serioulsy, I never get into fads and I refuse to spend $70,000 on an igloo cooler but I have a pair of Beats Headphones and a pair of Beats ear buds. You will never, EVER, hear music with that level of clarity then you will with Beats. The bass response through my Beats Is like you have two 10 inch subs taped to your head. It is amazing to me how they can get them to sound like that.

 

[Digging dog]

A bad clutch*****
GrindingGearsAndAll

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

I'm 100% with you on #2. 17 Wes Anderson films.

• People who pull into highway medians to either cross or turn left and they sit at the farthest left spot in stead of pulling all the way forward which would allow each of you to see oncoming traffic clearly. I literally want to get out of my truck and execute these people.

• ABC 'Family' channel. How the 17 is this a family channel? There's movies and shows on this channel that I would never let a child watch or sit down and watch with my family. I guess it's more of a reflection of morals and standards that most american families have now. ABC family should be showing stuff like the lion king or andy griffith.

• College baseball players wearing necklaces. Is this a rule or something? Watch a college baseball game next year and find me one player who is not wearing a necklace. I'm not goin to call it a chain because it's s 17ing necklace.

• Ole Miss

 

[Maroonthirteen]

Yes! The subway gripe! If you have multiple orders, go at 11 or 1. Ugghhh, people who stand there with a list of sandwiches, "let's see....they want......uhhh......" Get out of the way.

My number 1 though, @$$holes that drive into a gas station or public lot with their music blarring (usually some cussed laced rap) for everyone to "enjoy" and leave the music playing as they get gas or whatever........ I am not just talking about kids. I was down in FL recently. A big truck pulls into a lot right next to me with cuss filled rap music blarring. My kids are there. I see some teenage boys get out the passengers side. I am starring at them...about to ask them to turn it off. Then a white man.....40s....walks around to the tailgate, music still going, to unload his beach items. Says something to the kids about people starring. I am really mad now as a grown man with kids should know better. I say, "you look like an idiot is why people stare." My wife grabbed me and we left.... One of these days, when i am retired and nothing to lose, I am going to reach in that car/truck, take the keys out of the ignition and throw them on the building.

 

[AHSDawg]

I don't want to know someone who doesn't like Rushmore or Tenebaums. Those are 2 great movies. Tenenbaums is one of my all time favorite movies. That movie's flow, music and style is damn near genius.

 

[rabiddawg]

Gold chains bespoke a certain level of doucheness in a man. Baseball players, statistically speaking, are among the douchiest athletes at a school. They are generally so self-absorbed that it is hilarious to see them trying to fit in in a classroom situation.

 

[kired]

this just happened last night

Went to walmart late to pick up about 5 things. There are only two or three checkout lanes available but I get in a relatively short one and figure this should be quick. Two of the people ahead of me... yes, not one but two different shoppers ahead of me, realize while they are checking out that they forgot something so they send their fat, slow little kid to get a bag of chips or chocolate pretzels or pack of nabs. And everyone just stands there. Like they can't pay, then go to the back of the line and buy the one item while the rest of us check out. I stood in amazement. I spent more time in line waiting on these fat little kids to go get something their mom forgot than I did shopping. No ones in a hurry, no one apologizes for being an idiot --- and best of all, one of them decided they didn't like the brand of chocolate pretzels the kid got so they just decided not to buy it....

 

[tommyboy1520]

In Tennessee, a lottery state, some people will buy scratch-n-wins at a gas station only to stand there at the counter and scratch the ticket to see if they've won, then continue to buy more tickets and scratch until a winner comes up regardless of the line of people that have formed behind them. Those people suck. And the employees behind the counter who allow it to happen suck even worse. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I make a point to drop whatever items I'm buying on the floor in front of the counter and walk out.

That, and the Subway jacklegs ordering for the entire office. That pisses me off to no end.

 

[AFDawg]

- Websites that redirect you to a mobile homepage. It's 2014, dammit. I want to read your article on my phone.

- Flash

 

[Dawg Jurist]

Mine:
(1) Bitching
(2) Irony
(3) Lists
(4) People who steal **** they've seen on the internet and try to pass it off as their own joke.

 

[dogfan96]

The Royal Tenenbaums was hysterical nm

 

[dogfan96]

That's how they get you... they pump a bunch of bass into them and tell you they're so great. Beats headphones are pretty much universally accepted as being mediocre in quality.

 

[HD6]

ABC Family. Watch this commercial. It is unbelievable.

 

[futaba.79]

open carry at the subway...........

twice I've been to subway and waited in line behind a guy taking advantage of our open carry law. Both times it was just me and the gun toter. Both times I've been asked if the gun makes me uncomfortable and both times been told about second amendment rights. Neither time did I stare or say a word or do anything at all to instigate a conversation. Just tote your gun and leave me alone.

 

[IBleedMaroonDawg]

Commercials about strings or framilies.

 

[jethreauxdawg]

How about people who instantly become handicapped and in desperate need of a wheel chair and an attendant to push them when they enter an airport. I once saw a guy jump over his suitcase to get back into his airport provided wheelchair. While I'm on an airport kick: people trying to take a huge carry-on on to a small plane piss me off. Just check the damn thing at the bottom of the ramp. Instead they try and sneak it on only to reach the tail of the plane and realize the gate attendant wasn't lying about it not fitting.

 

[Xenomorph]

With a roscoe on the hip maybe he felt emboldened to break out his order list.

 

[DesotoCountyDawg]

When people say they won't eat or drink something because Dr Oz or The Food Babe said it has "toxins" in it. These people are nothing but fear mongering scare artists.

 

[crushing]

- Drivers who won't get out of the left lane
- Drivers who don't know how to turn right on red
- Drivers who tailgate until you get out of their way and then just sit back on your blindspot, until there is a car that you need to pass in front of you, so you have to take off cruise control.
- Drivers who speed up and slow down passing you then you passing them and so on, use your damned cruise control.
- Drivers who tailgate when there is nowhere to go, no place to pass, etc.
- Drivers who text a story while driving, not talking about a few words like, on my way home, etc., I'm talking about carrying on a conversation through texting, while driving.
- Drivers who don't even drive the speed limit.
- EBT cards at convenient stores to buy groceries, like tiny bags of chips and things like that, when they could get three times as much if they went to the grocery.
- Slow *** golfers
- Arrogant *** golfers, your there to have fun you bunch of pricks (This especially at Patrick Farms, where I rarely play anymore) - Rednecks that think their **** don't stink. Not all of them though.
- Barking dogs in a neighborhood where the houses are close to each other

 

[aTotal360]

People talking on speaker in public. /endthread

 

[WayboDawg]

I'm not a kid person at all. My wife and I are planning to start a family soon, but we will be significantly older than the age most of our family members were when they had their first child. That said, I hate it when we are all sitting around talking and enjoying ourselves at a family gathering and someone decides to plop one of their "precious angels" in my lap or my wife's lap and proceeds to tell us "There, now don't you just want one of those." It just pisses me off when people do that for some reason. I don't like holding other people's children, and I don't like other people telling me or my wife when we need to have children. It especially irks me when the majority of the time it's family members who have no parenting skills and bratty little kids.

 

[thf24]

-Too-Fat-to-Shop-Carts.. When did this phenomenon become so prevalent? There's a whole generation of 55 year old fat asses out there who've let their bodies degenerate to the point where they're no longer viable customers because they can't even walk around a store.. so what do we do? Provide free electric carts in every store so they can go buy more **** they don't need. Awesome. Seriously.. isn't this why Al Gore invented Amazon Prime??

Good god yes. And most of the time it's self-absorbed, apathetic people whose only health issue is that they're morbidly obese. What makes it so bad is that this type of person seems to both move and stop right smack in the way of the largest possible number of people and not give a 17 about it. I wish stores would require people to prove that they're legally handicapped in order to use one of these things. Even then, I'd think more stores would have gotten rid of them a long time ago just because of all the disasters caused by people who lack the mental capacity to operate one (my own grandmother included).

 

[TorchingTime]

- People that can't back all the way in to a parking space. If the front third of your car/truck is in the lane you've done it wrong. Pull through or just pull straight into the space like a normal human being. I don't understand the necessity of backing into a parking space anyway though. Are you saving time when you leave by wasting it when you arrive?

- I work in a cubicle farm. If you've got an office and you want to shout on the phone, shut your damn door.

- Don't send me an email and then walk down the hall to discuss it. "Did you get my email?" Yeah, 2 seconds ago and no I haven't acted on it or even opened it yet.

 

[HD6]

I thought of you last week when I ate at Chipotle.

 

[DesotoCountyDawg]

When people don't use cruise control on the interstate.

I'm driving 75-77 mph on cruise, pass a car and then they speed up and pass me then slow down until I'm on their bumper and have to pass them again.

 

[maroonmadman]

******** who feel the need to pull out in front of you on the highway and then drive 15 mph under the speed limit just to drive a mile or so down the road and make a left turn for which they feel the need to come to a complete stop. These people are the reason I can't have rocket launchers on the roof of my car.

 

[Optimus Prime 4]

The Life of Pi was awesome

 

[DreadNought.sixpack]

1) Women, or men, who wear sandals, flip flops in public with messed up feet. Corn-chip toenails are not a turn on people.
2) Excessively fat people on airplanes who sit by you and want to raise the armrest. I tell them no. I don't want them sitting on me.
3) Guys at the gym who have to look at themselves in the mirror every 30 seconds.
4) The person in front of you at the grocery store pays with an EBT card, then you see them load their crap in a new Escalade.
5) White kids trying to act black.

 

[mstateglfr]

Cashiers who try to have conversations about a certain topic with each person in line.
Just last night I was stung by one of these dbags.

I walked up and he said, 'Today's topic is Strangebrew. We(he and the bagger) are seeing how many people know the movie.' I politely say that I have seen it about a decade ago. My wife says she has no idea what it is. The guy then looks at my 7yo, who proceeds to just stare right back because she has no 17'n idea what is happening.
The cashier and bagger then proceed to quote Strangebrew about 5 times and hold the last letter of each quote, waiting for us to respond with a laugh. He then quoted Austin Powers('Groooovy, baby'), Tommy Boy, Get Smart(about 5 times) and The Mask.

What the hell.

It was brutal since we had about $200 in groceries- took forever.

He then asked the 60yo woman behind us if she has seen Strangebrew and started talking about how Rick Moranis was great in it. I left the store and glanced back as the woman had her jaw slightly dropped in confusion at the whole thing.


Polite small talk- keep it at that.

 

[Hump4Hoops]

Seconded. 3 of my top 5 of all time are Wes Anderson films.

Funny without being beat over the head with shtick. Id put Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums, and Life Aquatic up against any comedies of the past 25 years. Grand Budapest Hotel was also really good, but just as sad as it was funny. Still need to see Moonrise Kingdom.

 

[mstateglfr]

- Don't send me an email and then walk down the hall to discuss it. "Did you get my email?" Yeah, 2 seconds ago and no I haven't acted on it or even opened it yet.

A woman in my office will email me, send me an instant message to let me know about the issue or that I have an email, and then call me(or walk down to my desk). How is she so mis-wired in her head that she thinks this is normal or necessary?

 

[DreadNought.sixpack]

- Drivers who won't get out of the left lane

- Slow *** golfers
- Arrogant *** golfers, your there to have fun you bunch of pricks (This especially at Patrick Farms, where I rarely play anymore)

I used to play at the Lake Caroline Saturday morning mens tournament. You are placed on a team by your handicap and you have no choice in who you partner with. Most of the guys are fine, but there are some colossal jerks who take it way too serious. They tell everyone how to "fix" their swing, putt their ball and the thing is, they are no better than the rest of us. Golf is meant to be played with friends, beer, cigars and tom foolery.

 

[crushing]

- ***** *** men who let their wife or girlfriend talk down to them in front of people. Bad enough behind closed doors, but in public, no stinking way.

 

[DesotoCountyDawg]

I refuse to step foot in that place.

.

 

[ckDOG]

People who say "touch base" need to die.

What does that mean? What is base? Why do so many people say it? Why can't you just tell me you need to talk to me?

Traffic has been covered.

Other things:
-Improper use of the word literally
-Saying "I could care less"
-Saying "irregardless"
-People who don't pick up their dog's crap in public places.
-People who take too long at the ATM. 1 minute or less people, it's not hard.
-Strangers who talk to me in the restroom.
-Men who get more piss on the floor than in the urinal. How do you miss? Are you that filthy at home?
-Men who don't flush their ****. Again, are you that filthy at home?
-People who can't wait for the next elevator when current door is closing (exempt if only 1 elevator).
-People who drive fast in parking garages.