Regrets

[MegaBlue05]

1. Not taking high school and college more seriously. Had a great time in both - sex, drugs and rock n roll and gangsta rap - but didn’t do as well academically as I’m capable.

2. Decisions in my early 20s that led to criminal charges of public intoxication and possession of marijuana. Not serious “crimes” but they probably contributed to me not getting a few jobs I applied for in my late 20s.

3. Being a big pu—y when I was 19 and not banging the hot, married cougar in her 40s who was literally throwing herself at me. We were coworkers. I was afraid her cop husband would find out and murder me and wussed out.

 

[KopiKat]

Finished Kindergarten
Penis Reduction
Shoot a man in Reno
Married my Cousin

That is so dumb . . why go all the way to Reno ??

 

[KopiKat]

I have some ....

I honestly regret throwing that toilet off the hotel roof in songtan city South Korea with billy hirschfield ...it was BALLS OUT funny for like 15 years ...but not anymore

Yeah, I hear ya . .Billy Hirshfield, of all the people in the world to do that with. That would break any of us down after 15 years. Bill effing Hirshfield.

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

So glad my wife and I had children immediately after getting married and that we got married at 23 and 24. I am damn near 40 and have friends having their first kids. They are stupid.

I don't have many regrets. Quit drinking in May after finding out a friend was struggling with alcoholism. I drank more than I should, but didn't have a problem. After almost 8 months dry, I wish I had quit a long time ago. It was fun when I was in my 20's but seeing life at 40 without it is eye opening.

The payoff will be when your wife wakes up realizing what a lame shitass you are, and leaves you for someone with a pulse

 

[KopiKat]

So glad my wife and I had children immediately after getting married and that we got married at 23 and 24. I am damn near 40 and have friends having their first kids. They are stupid.

I don't have many regrets. Quit drinking in May after finding out a friend was struggling with alcoholism. I drank more than I should, but didn't have a problem. After almost 8 months dry, I wish I had quit a long time ago. It was fun when I was in my 20's but seeing life at 40 without it is eye opening.

Lmao . . So you admit being sober for the first time at age 40 but you say people who have children at 40 are stupid. For the viewers at home, please . . could you describe your least favorite memory while raising your children outside of recognized sobriety? Or will this moment be it?

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

I know plenty of ppl who had kids at 40. No issues and were financially stable.

 

[KopiKat]

I know plenty of ppl who had kids at 40. No issues and were financially stable.

I wouldn't dare judge people for raising children at any age. It's the ones out there who put more effort into avoiding their own parental responsibilities than actually doing any part of it that gripes my ***. Biggest problem in our society.

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

I wouldn't dare judge people for raising children at any age. It's the ones out there who put more effort into avoiding their own parental responsibilities than actually doing any part of it that gripes my ***. Biggest problem in our society.

Well that and the OP

 

[KopiKat]

I regret thinking that EVERYTHING I like or love should be shared with my children at an early age ...my first born was about three or four when I had her watch The Shining and Texas Chainsaw Massacre...

My, lord . . you were an awful parent. Never, and I mean never let a young child watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre until they have finished kindergarten.

 

[KopiKat]

Well that and the OP

I thought about recommending YouTube to compensate for his disappointing singing career . . but we've got enough crazy chit to put up with around here already. Maybe he can just post for us some pics of his new kitchen cabinets instead.

 

[KopiKat]

I regret taking LSD in a church service once when I was responsible for the PA ...only happened ONCE mind you

No doubt. Once would be enough for Willy even. I'll bet the next few times you went to church with a head full of acid you limited yourself to usher duties and teaching Sunday school.

 

[dgtatu01]

Lmao . . So you admit being sober for the first time at age 40 but you say people who have children at 40 are stupid. For the viewers at home, please . . could you describe your least favorite memory while raising your children outside of recognized sobriety? Or will this moment be it?

Like I said didn't drink all the time or a lot when I did. Maybe 3-5 days a week and 2-3 each time with once a month drinking 6 or 7 with friends. I think having kids later in life just leaves you a lot of age where your raising them. Stupid might have been a strong word. I haven't had any moments I didn't enjoy raising my children so far. They are great. Thanks for asking. Mainly I used alcohol as a crutch for stressful days or anxiety. Now I embrace those things.

 

[Dig Dirkler]

1. Not taking high school and college more seriously. Had a great time in both - sex, drugs and rock n roll and gangsta rap - but didn’t do as well academically as I’m capable.

Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe you did do as well academically as you’re capable, and the reality is that you’re not as smart as you think you are.

 

[CastleRubric]

Yeah, I hear ya . .Billy Hirshfield, of all the people in the world to do that with. That would break any of us down after 15 years. Bill effing Hirshfield.

Dude was always laughing

Even when he was about to smash a beer bottle over someone’s head

I also regret failing geometry twice at middlesboro and then taking “a computer class” my senior year cause I assumed it was a math credit ...which dovetails nearly into the regrettable act of failing my senior year of HS

I DEFINITELY regret laughing uncontrollably at Ben Presnell when we were in 6th grade and he puked So Hard that he shot a hot dog weenie NUB out his nostril....

Woke his parents
They were pissed at my lack of support to their son
I may have pissed myself laughing at that one...

Situation was hardly fair though

finally - a few of what I call “regret clusters “

1. I regret systematically stealing cash from a certain banks snack fund for almost two years during high school
2. I regret one of the fights I got into in Japan where I “saw red” and beat a certain South American asshat down then kicked his head and face WAY more than I should have
3. I regret tricking my sister into The Scrambler at the middlesboro fair when I was ten...she puked so uncontrollably while the ride was in operation that EVERYONE was screaming for the operator to Stop the Damn Ride ...even as they tried to guess where the next vomit volley would strike ...I was horrified with myself honestly...they had to **** the ride down for two days I think
4. Finally I regret sleeping with my drummers daughter in Germany when I was supposed to be giving her guitar lessons...she was legal by German law though

Y’all don’t know how much I appreciate this ...

 

[CastleRubric]

No doubt. Once would be enough for Willy even. I'll bet the next few times you went to church with a head full of acid you limited yourself to usher duties and teaching Sunday school.

About the time I started growing my “Afro-mullet” and exploring drugs and the occult ...the church attendance and general observance of common law and process just Suffered

came back to a lot of that later though

you’d like me

 

[KopiKat]

Like I said didn't drink all the time or a lot when I did. Maybe 3-5 days a week and 2-3 each time with once a month drinking 6 or 7 with friends. I think having kids later in life just leaves you a lot of age where your raising them. Stupid might have been a strong word. I haven't had any moments I didn't enjoy raising my children so far. They are great. Thanks for asking. Mainly I used alcohol as a crutch for stressful days or anxiety. Now I embrace those things.

You have a lot of conflict in your writing of alcohol. I'm going to constructively offer there is a lot of denial going on. I sense your family wants and needs you to stay sober. Offering those words with the best of human spirit intended, as I am a strong believer in the essential human need for all lives to be as quality.as possible. If yours is better so is mine and so are all those men in-between us. I was lucky in my late 20s, totally quit drinking for no particular reason. Just got busy with other things. Job change and other stuff. Was never an "I'm quitting" moment but if I had continued there would eventually have been a need for one. A body and a mind can function one way at one point in time. But for average men, probably sometime in their early to middle 30s the strong power of youth takes its first major step back, and those times of knocking back a 12 pack (don't pretend there haven't been many), get harder and harder to slog past the next day.

 

[KopiKat]

About the time I started growing my “Afro-mullet” and exploring drugs and the occult ...the church attendance and general observance of common law and process just Suffered

came back to a lot of that later though

you’d like me

Your posting is very entertaining !

 

[-Mav-]

About the time I started growing my “Afro-mullet” and exploring drugs and the occult ...

Please continue.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

The three problems with having kids later in life are:

1. It’s statistically riskier for both the baby and mother, plus harder to get pregnant
2. You are more constrained in terms of how many kids you can have
3. You have less energy, especially when they are in their teens

I’m not judging people who start later at all; I’m merely advising people not to wait until later to get started if they can help it.

 

[KopiKat]

The three problems with having kids later in life are:

1. It’s statistically riskier for both the baby and mother, plus harder to get pregnant
2. You are more constrained in terms of how many kids you can have
3. You have less energy, especially when they are in their teens

I’m not judging people who start later at all; I’m merely advising people not to wait until later to get started if they can help it.

Only 3? lol. Okay. Well, since we're all about throwing out free advice tonight, I'll give you an example of the "goes in a circle" conversation I have when people ask me when the best time is to have kids, and I get asked that question a lot.

This is my answer: when you pay off your first house.

Few, very few, people like that answer well enough to explore the value. But first, I will admit, in a previous life, thatnwe "waited" until our mid 30s before having children. And yes, our first home was paid for, and yes, that made all the difference in the world going forward. No problem with finances, retirement savings, paying for college, etc. and what-not.

But people then ask this: how old were you when you bought your first house? Then they get annoyed. They start talking about all the things they should have and be able to do while they are young. I tell them I did all of those things. They say how can you do all of those things, have the things you want, pay off a house and still be young enough to start having kids?

This is when I start giving a detailed answer about practical living while mentioning things like Roth IRAs, NEVER carrying credit card debt . . . NEVER-EVER, how stupid it is to spend a fortune on brand new stuff to decorate the inside of a home, how almost EVERYONE drives more car than they need, has more satellite service than they need, eats more food than they need, joins more stupid monthly payment **** than they need, and by the time they are 30 have enough **** laying around the house that they paid a combined 5-10 thousand dollars for over the years that anyone could throw in the trash and they would never miss.

Then they start talking about their sad, awful, make-me-cry already student loans they had to pay back and this is what I say to them:

Should I go back over everything one more time so you can understand why your parents could not afford to pay for your college?

 

[dgtatu01]

You have a lot of conflict in your writing of alcohol. I'm going to constructively offer there is a lot of denial going on. I sense your family wants and needs you to stay sober. Offering those words with the best of human spirit intended, as I am a strong believer in the essential human need for all lives to be as quality.as possible. If yours is better so is mine and so are all those men in-between us. I was lucky in my late 20s, totally quit drinking for no particular reason. Just got busy with other things. Job change and other stuff. Was never an "I'm quitting" moment but if I had continued there would eventually have been a need for one. A body and a mind can function one way at one point in time. But for average men, probably sometime in their early to middle 30s the strong power of youth takes its first major step back, and those times of knocking back a 12 pack (don't pretend there haven't been many), get harder and harder to slog past the next day.

Thank you for psycho analyzing me. I already told you I was glad I quit. I take care of myself though and there was no interference in my family or anything. It was just time for a different season of life just like 8 years ago when I lost 60 lbs on a diet and still have it off, or 11 years ago.when I quit smoking, or 4 years ago when I quit eating sweets. I just move on from stuff. Life is better, I'm healthier, I grow. Life was good before, life is better now.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

Only 3? lol. Okay. Well, since we're all about throwing out free advice tonight, I'll give you an example of the "goes in a circle" conversation I have when people ask me when the best time is to have kids, and I get asked that question a lot.

This is my answer: when you pay off your first house.

Few, very few, people like that answer well enough to explore the value. But first, I will admit, in a previous life, thatnwe "waited" until our mid 30s before having children. And yes, our first home was paid for, and yes, that made all the difference in the world going forward. No problem with finances, retirement savings, paying for college, etc. and what-not.

But people then ask this: how old were you when you bought your first house? Then they get annoyed. They start talking about all the things they should have and be able to do while they are young. I tell them I did all of those things. They say how can you do all of those things, have the things you want, pay off a house and still be young enough to start having kids?

This is when I start giving a detailed answer about practical living while mentioning things like Roth IRAs, NEVER carrying credit card debt . . . NEVER-EVER, how stupid it is to spend a fortune on brand new stuff to decorate the inside of a home, how almost EVERYONE drives more car than they need, has more satellite service than they need, eats more food than they need, joins more stupid monthly payment **** than they need, and by the time they are 30 have enough **** laying around the house that they paid a combined 5-10 thousand dollars for over the years that anyone could throw in the trash and they would never miss.

Then they start talking about their sad, awful, make-me-cry already student loans they had to pay back and this is what I say to them:

Should I go back over everything one more time so you can understand why your parents could not afford to pay for your college?

Uh... not sure where that came in. My point is only that having kids is awesome - better than another few years of traveling/hitting the bars. The financial part is a different animal.

 

[Ron Mehico]

I had my first kid a couple months shy of 36 and am happy for it. I’m glad I did all the things I did in my 20s and got it out of my system. I felt closure of my wild days and never have “what if” or “if I only did” feelings, so it was good for me.

I also have absolutely nothing payed off and have been continuously accruing debt until recently so not sure that’s necessarily the answer.

 

[warrior-cat]

1. Not taking high school and college more seriously. Had a great time in both - sex, drugs and rock n roll and gangsta rap - but didn’t do as well academically as I’m capable.

2. Decisions in my early 20s that led to criminal charges of public intoxication and possession of marijuana. Not serious “crimes” but they probably contributed to me not getting a few jobs I applied for in my late 20s.

3. Being a big pu—y when I was 19 and not banging the hot, married cougar in her 40s who was literally throwing herself at me. We were coworkers. I was afraid her cop husband would find out and murder me and wussed out.

[pfftt]Pansy.[banana][winking]

 

[KopiKat]

Uh... not sure where that came in. My point is only that having kids is awesome - better than another few years of traveling/hitting the bars. The financial part is a different animal.

Oh, my bad . . lol. I figured since you introduced your thoughts on when to have kids with the words "my advice is" that you would also welcome the same from others. And yes, the financial part is a different animal. A hugely important, different animal, concerning the subject of being responsible for new life. You can't do it right simply by cutting back on the bar-hopping, although the children of many, most unfortunately, and in spite of the fact that real abilities are there all along, never know any different.

 

[*CatinIL*]

Knowing what I know now, not that I really regret it, I wish I would have retired a one year later than I did.

 

[Laparkafan]

Oh, my bad . . lol. I figured since you introduced your thoughts on when to have kids with the words "my advice is" that you would also welcome the same from others. And yes, the financial part is a different animal. A hugely important, different animal, concerning the subject of being responsible for new life. You can't do it right simply by cutting back on the bar-hopping, although the children of many, most unfortunately, and in spite of the fact that real abilities are there all along, never know any different.

thank you for taking this on...this generation is having kids later in life than prior generations

 

[LadyCaytIL]

 

[anon_l8pbkn96tg3j6]

I went with the flow for way too long. The best things usually aren't accidents.

 

[OldEvilleCat]

I may or may not regret going off on my daughters African American boyfriend last night over a possible misunderstanding...
...especially since it was MLK day. :grimace:

 

[Get Buckets]

I may or may not regret going off on my daughters African American boyfriend last night over a possible misunderstanding...
...especially since it was MLK day. :grimace:

Go on....

 

[OldEvilleCat]

I'd rather not...you would've thought the 20 minute drive over would have calmed me down.
I may have over reacted.






but I really don't think I did.

 

[MdWIldcat55]

So glad my wife and I had children immediately after getting married and that we got married at 23 and 24. I am damn near 40 and have friends having their first kids. They are stupid.

I don't have many regrets. Quit drinking in May after finding out a friend was struggling with alcoholism. I drank more than I should, but didn't have a problem. After almost 8 months dry, I wish I had quit a long time ago.

So, you had kids early, drank too much throughout their childhoods, but people who have kids at 40 are the stupid ones?

I sobered up before I had kids after exhausting the pleasures of single life -- dating a lot of women, hanging out in bars and clubs, traveling around the world, getting obsessively focused on work, and so on. I married a younger woman, and had two kids when I was in my early 40s. I had the financial resources by then to give them opportunities and not be stressed by supporting a family. I had learned patience, the key to parenting, was wiser, could teach them more, and, thank god, mostly alcohol free. The kids kept me feeling much younger than my age, more physically fit, and much more engaged in life, than my friends who either never had kids or saw their kids leaving home while they were still in their 40s, kicking off a too-long stretch of life after family, without the energy or resources to do the kinds of things they could have done if they hadn't had kids too early.

Note -- I'm not knocking anyone's decision to have kids in their 20s, or any other age, as long as they are ready. But if you aren't done with things like getting drunk, chasing other women, seeing some of the world, and so on, you are better off doing that before you have kids.

 

[UKGrad93]

So glad my wife and I had children immediately after getting married and that we got married at 23 and 24. I am damn near 40 and have friends having their first kids. They are stupid.

You seem like a guy that has things figured out. I'm approaching 50, so I thought I'd ask what I should or shouldn't do? I wouldn't want to be stupid. TIA.

 

[KopiKat]

Thank you for psycho analyzing me. I already told you I was glad I quit. I take care of myself though and there was no interference in my family or anything. It was just time for a different season of life just like 8 years ago when I lost 60 lbs on a diet and still have it off, or 11 years ago.when I quit smoking, or 4 years ago when I quit eating sweets. I just move on from stuff. Life is better, I'm healthier, I grow. Life was good before, life is better now.

Right, I get it. Happy for you and your family, I'm repeating myself with that. From a medium old-timer I hope you don't mind me offering that you need to add one more thing to your list of improvements. A tad more emotional toughness. Specifically, you are getting some justified criticism, and doing everything to shrug it off. Your combination of admitting to seeing the world clearly (for the first time) as a result of getting off the booze at age 40ish while condemning people for having children near that age is a high level of hypocritical judgement. You deserve to have that hypocrisy pointed out for you, while being complimented for your improvements and given encouragement to continue. There is no such thing as any of us who do not have room for improvement, and needs for it. As men and fathers, it high-high important that we always demonstrate to our wives and children that we are the ones willing to sacrifice the most, the ones who expect to give much more of ourselves than ever to get back, and so on. And none of us should expect that the way that works for us must be the way that has to work for other men. Have a good day and much continued rewards to you and your family.

 

[MychalG]

When we were younger my wife and I decided not to have kids. Now that I am getting older, I regret sometimes not having one or two. That and not holding on to the 500 shares of Amazon stock that I bought at it's IPO price. I let some genius convince me they would be nothing more than an on line book company. Those shares would worth be around $950K.

 

[HagginHall1999]

Lots of posts about having kids later in life. I was 32 when we had our first, wife 25. We have 3 now, and the 3rd just turned 1 yesterday. 7, 4 and 1 keeping me young.

I'll be 40 in June and wife is about to be 33....so I am old and she is young, lol, has worked out perfectly.

We had kids as soon as we were financially stable enough to do so. I have several friends with kids in their teens because they started young...I have zero regrets, couldn't have worked out better in terms of when to have them. I also have friends who are my age with little kids too. We all have our own path....

We both kind of want another but it would have to be soon, that's for sure...

As for regrets in life:

1. Not staying in same shape I was in early to mid twenties...and letting myself go in late twenties to early 30's. I picked back up about 6 years ago and it has been hard as hell to get to where I am now.

2. Not knowing what I wanted to do after graduating college....that was both good and bad I guess. I found myself in my early 30's and have takennoffnover the last decade, I guess I wish I did it sooner.

 

[Crushgroove]

3. Being a big pu—y when I was 19 and not banging the hot, married cougar in her 40s who was literally throwing herself at me. We were coworkers. I was afraid her cop husband would find out and murder me and wussed out.

Living in birmingham, got cut off in traffic one day after a bad day at work. It was raining and my car skidded a bit at speed. It pissed me off. I caught up to the guy before we got onto the expressway and flashed my lights at him and pointed to pull over. My first clue should have been that ole boy just casually turned his blinker on a full mile before the only spot to pull over, which was the gas station at the exit ramp.

UAB personalized plates on a black c-class mercedez. The dude who rolled out of that car was a massive young man. Think defensive end body type. We stood there between our cars and breathed on each other for a couple minutes to no resolve. I may have mentioned that his driving skills weren't up to par. He replied by informing me that he thought I should get back into my car. I agreed that was a wise decision.

I was consumed by regret and embarrassment. I called my old man on the way home and told on myself for being a *****. He said I should have let the dude kick my *** if I wasn't happy with the outcome.

 

[CastleRubric]

....there we’re actually two rather large and fast moving fires I started in Claiborne co as a young spirited tyke ...they were no more deliberate than the homemade aersol bombs is tested ...BUT I regret not learning my lesson from the first one ...and I regret how the nice volunteer firemen had to span out and prevent two homes from being torched

...and I’m more than a little regretful that old Ms Skeen had to evacuate her house during that fateful month

 

[CastleRubric]

I regret peeing all over the inside of a changing room at a certain store in a certain mall when I was 14.....I REALLY regret how I did it while wearing a clearly identifiable football jersey

there were two hotel incidents that I spearheaded that I just wont admit to details of ...those were related to band/musician type contexts and I was only 17 and 26 when they happened ....so - CLEARLY not fully in control of my faculties yet