As soon as I hear some dope pecking a piano key in slo mo, I change the channel. I'd like to smack the talentless hack that strung together four notes for that maudlin theme song.
They find some sob story about somebody I care nothing about and expect me to get all blubbery.
Hey, sorry about your mom or your dad, or your wife or husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're looking down on you and want you to win.
We all got our sob stories. We don't put them on TV so some guy drinking beer at 10am in his underwear can get a glimpse into your pain and fortitude. Get a show on Lifetime and put these stories there.

They find some sob story about somebody I care nothing about and expect me to get all blubbery.
Hey, sorry about your mom or your dad, or your wife or husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're looking down on you and want you to win.
We all got our sob stories. We don't put them on TV so some guy drinking beer at 10am in his underwear can get a glimpse into your pain and fortitude. Get a show on Lifetime and put these stories there.