What the hell happened in here?
It started like a kid called his best friend on Christmas eve, exuberant, saying: "I got four bad *** Transformers, and I hear Santa is coming tomorrow with twenty more Ninja Turtles, GI Joes, and Hot Wheels!!!
The other kid says, "I already got 25 kick *** Transformers, Hot Wheels, Ninja Turtles, and GI Joes, and mine are better because I already have them, and my parents have given me better presents in the past." (Never mind the last clause, kids don't know this doesn't actually make the presents they have right now any better).
Exuberant kid says, "No, Dude! You misunderstood, my Mom and Dad got raises last year, and now I'm getting kick *** presents too, just wait and see!!!"
Pessimistic kid says, "It will never happen, your Mom and Dad are losers, you'll never get kick *** presents."
Exuberant kid says, "Dude, look! I'm already getting kick *** presents, it's different!"
Pessimistic kid says, "No, dude, your parents suck. They'll get fired and you'll have to take your toys back to the store."
Exuberant kid, now deflated and upset, asks, "Wait, why are we friends?"