Why Our Opponent Sucks: Florida Edition

615dawg

All-Conference
Jun 4, 2007
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I hope we see this Saturday.

<span style="font-weight: bold;">The most redneck fanbase in the SEC:</span> What, Florida? Not Alabama? Not Tennessee? Not Arkansas? I contend that the biggest redneck fanbase in that of the Gatas. Ironically they are the most yankee fans in the SEC at the same time.

Typical Florida gameday attire: Jorts (of course), a mullet, tank top (tucked into his shorts, of course), cheap Natural Light beer, sunglasses (even at night games), big belt buckle and Lance Armstrong/Tim Tebow bracelet.

Pictured here are two typical Florida fans.



<span style="font-weight: bold;">The state pretty much sucks.</span> Beautiful beaches, though. It's like Florida is in four different parts of the country. The panhandle is the epitome of the South. There are shades of the Northeast and Midwest in Central Florida (Orlando is a ******** if you've ever lived there - Tampa/St. Pete is pretty cool) and South Florida was built on a swamp using drug money.

Most of us have been to Destin. Pretty cool, right. Have you ever met a local? You know, the dude that you rent the boat from? Think about that. And its contagious. My wife has a friend who got married and moved from Mississippi to Destin. Now she's a redneck that wears clothes too short and too tight, just like Florida fans.

Gainesville is overrated too. Its like its bigger cousin, Orlando - a ********. You get all excited about going down there and checking things out - and you get there and its utter disappointment. The Swamp is about as exciting as Legion Field. I contend that it is the worst road trip in the SEC East.

The district that includes Gainesville elected Corrine Brown as their representative to the United States House of Representatives.

But all of this massive evidence of Florida fans being either rednecks or douchebags and here's the kicker - they think they are better than you because they are from Florida. Whether its the Miami Herald taking shots at Mississippi or that dude that rents you the boat snickering at your MSU shirt while tobacco juice runs down his chin - everyone from the state of Florida (sans Saddawg and his coo-chees) pretty much sucks.

<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tim Tebow Factor:</span> Tim Tebow does not suck. He is awesome and will be hard to stop, but the fan fellatio of him is Alabama-esque. Florida has obviously had some great players, but none have been worshipped like Tebow.

Did you see the lick the Kentucky player put on Tebow? Nothing dirty, just a good clean hit. That guy got death threats on Facebook. They panned to the crowd and grown men were crying and consoling each other. A look of concern is normal, but seriously.

And it has boiled into other fanbases as well. There is an MSU fan in my office that is wearing a Tim Tebow jersey to the game. Someone in the pasture suggested that we try to get him to walk through the Junction with Mullen. Great guy, I hope my son is half the man he is, but seriously?

PM me with Kentucky ideas.

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Braves Dawg

Freshman
Sep 16, 2009
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more mullets and bare feet hanging out of car windows than one man should have to endure in a lifetime during my one and only trip to Gainesville.
 

graddawg

Sophomore
Jun 4, 2007
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615dawg said:
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There is an MSU fan in my office that is wearing a Tim Tebow jersey to the game.
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This had better be a joke that you included just for shock value.
 

seshomoru

Sophomore
Apr 24, 2006
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615dawg wrote:<span><span id="temp-0"><span>
I contend that it is the worst road trip in the SEC East.

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Agreed. In fact, I rate it dead last in the entire SEC. Arkansas games in Little Rock are only slightly better because they are closer.
 

RobbieRandolph

Redshirt
Apr 17, 2008
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I wouldn't be surprised at all to see some dubmass MSU fan sew an AD jersey and a Tebow jersey together down the middle.

It'll probably be the guy who hopes Tebow goes through the Dawg walk with Mullen.
 

615dawg

All-Conference
Jun 4, 2007
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She is that much of a Tim Tebow fan. She said she "would cheer for MSU but when it gets ugly she would cheer for Florida and her man Tim Tebow."

No lie.
 

Hotel Roosevelt

Redshirt
Sep 18, 2009
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Support your own damn team. I like Tebow too. I'm alright with the University of Florida, one of my least hated SEC teams, but there is no way in hell I'm ever going to cheer for ANYONE over State. And the same should go for any other State fan.

Not surprised it was a lady though. There is a tremendous amount of man-love for Tebow too, but the girls have been going nuts the last week or so.
 

vhdawg

All-Conference
Sep 29, 2004
4,387
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615dawg said:
The state pretty much sucks.

To quote the great Jack Cristil: "I've got no use for the whole <17>ing state of Florida."
 

SLUdog

Redshirt
May 28, 2007
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but I have appreciated many players' abilities whom I wanted MSU to beat really badly. She's an idiot.
 

Todd4State

Redshirt
Mar 3, 2008
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There are many things that you could be talking about when you say worst- distance, game day atmosphere, fan safety, intelligence of fans- but as far as atmosphere- which I assume that you are talking about here- Vandy is the worst. As far as distance- I nominate Kentucky. I thought I was never going to get home. I can't judge Fayetteville yet since they play that game in Little Rock every year for some stupid reason.

As far as Tim Tebow, I think HD6 said it best- John 3:16 "God sent his only begotten son- not some gel-haired quarterback."

And this thread can not go any longer without mention of Steve Spurrier justifying adding a tack on TD by making up a story about MSU people beating up his waterboy or some BS after we beat them in Starkville in 2000. I don't have a problem with the tack-on TD 50 yard bomb or whatever it was, especially since it's our job to stop them from scoring not for them to stop scoring, but it's absolute horseshit to even try to make it look like it was some vigilante effort for some waterboy.
 

coursesuper

Redshirt
Nov 1, 2007
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I have been for more than just a Fla MSU affair having gone for Fla Miami also and came away unimpressed each time.Their idea of a tailgate is a 12 of natylight and a bag of chips, The Purple Porpous(sp) was a huge let down, the wings sucked. Just didn't feel like a SEC football game. It was kinda stale.
 

MSUCostanza

Redshirt
Jan 10, 2007
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Lots of sidewalk alums, jorts and mullets. Muscle shirts everywhere. ******* fans. As many ugly chicks as hot ones. Stadium is boring. I made my one trip there to say I've been, and will never go back. Major yawn.
 

slickdawg

Redshirt
May 28, 2007
2,086
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is a <17>ing idiot.

If you remember, a poll was conducted, and the majority of florida football fans preferred football over sex.