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Here is the first in the weekly installment of "Why Our Opponent Sucks." This week we take a look at Jackson State. If you have any suggestions for next week's opponent, Auburn: PM me.
<span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Band Smack.</span>
Look, most people are looking forward to seeing the "internationally-known" Sonic Boom of the South (apparently the states of Louisiana, Tennessee and Alabama are international) but to be honest, MSU fans really don't care if your band "beats" our band. Seriously, if I hear "Halftime is the real Gametime" one more time, I'm going to puke. Halftime is for going to the Templeton Troughs, heading to the concession stand and trying to find other scores and such. The band is simply background noise.
We know that the Boom is what draws crowds at JSU games, but whether we look like it or not, we play in the best football conference in the country - we are there for football. Our band has never been thought of as great, but they do bring a sense of spirit to the stadium. No one boos when they break out in "Hail State." Conversely, our band has never put on an event that resulted in a quarter million dollars being taken at gunpoint. Our band has never been accused of simulating sex with their instruments (at least as part of their halftime show) .
One final thought on the band deal. We realize that your band is used to "squaring off" with the other band before, during and after the game. This is the SEC, guys. If your band plays a note during gameplay, your team is going to be flagged. And after the game, our band is going to play the alma mater, fight song and get out of there like the rest of the fans while you march out and everyone laughs at you. In the end, our band members will actually get a degree worth more than the paper its printed on, so who's the real winner?
<span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Your conference is a *****, and you're a ***** for taking it.</span>
There I said it. The SWAC is a *****. SWAC football is the only conference in college athletics where when the players step on the field and go through two a days in the August heat, they have zero chance of playing for a national championship. Before you say Sun Belt, etc. Yes, it is a tough road, but technically there is a chance. Why is the SWAC the only conference that is like this?
"Why have a playoff when you can have a payoff?"
That's a direct quote from the SWAC commissioner. And the one school that should have the biggest gripe with this policy is Jackson State, and here's why.
The SWAC does not participate in the Division I-AA playoffs because of the Bayou Classic, an annual Thanksgiving weekend affair between Grambling and Southern at the Superdome. The game conflicts with the opening round of the Division I-AA playoffs. Rather than move the game up a week, the SWAC and the city of New Orleans balked. The members voted, and only two (Grambling and Southern) voted to keep the current format, so the SWAC moved the game, right? Wrong. Grambling and Southern keep the game Thanksgiving weekend, split the gate of an NFL stadium in a town that loves the game, and shares the NBC revenue with the SWAC, while the rest of the conference sits there and takes it.
Grambling and Southern are likely candidates to win the SWAC every year, as they are first and second, respectively. But Jackson State has won its shares of SWAC titles and they don't have a big game like that that draws a national television audience, as well as 70,000+ people. They play Alcorn and might get 30,000. In fact, Alcorn wants to move the game to a home and home. Jackson State, in 1997, was the last SWAC team to play in the Division I-AA playoffs.
"But the SWAC was 0-19 all-time in the playoffs, including Steve McNair's 30 point loss If we can;t win, why play?" That's like the spoiled kid in your neighborhood that takes his ball and goes home when he gets beaten. But for you that think this way, I present to you the Heritage Bowl.
Remember the Heritage Bowl? Christmas Day in the Georgia Dome. The champion of the SWAC against the champion of the MEAC. The HBCU national championship, if you would. Except for it was the SWAC champion against the runner-up from the MEAC, because the MEAC champion actually goes to the playoffs. After a while, it became the SWAC champion against the third place team from the MEAC, because the MEAC was sending its champion and its runner-up was getting an at-large bid. Folks were watching Florida A&M on ESPN make a run for a real national championship, and you know, at halftime, ESPN showed the band.
The SWAC actually won most of the Heritage Bowls, but when third place Hampton beat the **** out of SWAC champion Southern in 1999, the SWAC decided that they would hold a "SWAC Championship Game" instead. Yes, the SWAC petitioned the NCAA and is the only conference allowed to have a football championship game with less than 12 members. No one has accused the NCAA of not playing politics.
<span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Some of your fans have some good stuff</span>
We know that State has had its problems this decade. We know that we have lost to the likes of Tulane, Louisiana Tech and gasp, Maine. But all of those teams would beat JSU by 40 or more. JSU fans who think they have a chance to win this game are delusional. State fans who think we have a chance to lose this game are just as delusional. State will win this game easily, and possibly could score as many offensive touchdowns (9) as MSU did in the entire 2006 season.
Here are some numbers for your enjoyment. Jackson State is 0-5-1 all-time against teams that are currently Division I. We're talking about Middle Tennessees, Arkansas States and other Sun Belt teams, not SEC teams. All-time, JSU is 18-30-1 against non-HBCUs and have not defeated a non-HBCU since downing Campbell in 1990. This is all while having three members of the pro football hall of fame don the JSU uniform.
Last year, SWAC teams played seven Division I-A teams. They did not play Florida, USC and Ohio State. They played teams like Arkansas State, Troy, New Mexico State, Louisiana-Monroe, UAB, Nevada and Houston. Average score 54-8.� Louisiana-Monroe was the only team to fail to drop 40 on a team. Everyone else scored at least 45. Arkansas State infamously beat Texas Southern 83-10. The college bookstore had a special running where you would get 1% off of ASU gear for every point they won by. They had to sell ASU gear at a 73% discount. Who gets beat by 73 points by a 6-6 Sun Belt team? Oh yeah, SWAC teams.
And while we're on the fans, its ******** all this talking you are doing and you send back over half of the 5000 tickets we allotted you. I thought we were going to have 10,000 JSU fans, JSU was going to paint Starksville blue and the such. Oh well, we'll enjoy watching your band simulate sex with their instruments and have to explain it to our children.�
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Here is the first in the weekly installment of "Why Our Opponent Sucks." This week we take a look at Jackson State. If you have any suggestions for next week's opponent, Auburn: PM me.
<span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Band Smack.</span>
Look, most people are looking forward to seeing the "internationally-known" Sonic Boom of the South (apparently the states of Louisiana, Tennessee and Alabama are international) but to be honest, MSU fans really don't care if your band "beats" our band. Seriously, if I hear "Halftime is the real Gametime" one more time, I'm going to puke. Halftime is for going to the Templeton Troughs, heading to the concession stand and trying to find other scores and such. The band is simply background noise.
We know that the Boom is what draws crowds at JSU games, but whether we look like it or not, we play in the best football conference in the country - we are there for football. Our band has never been thought of as great, but they do bring a sense of spirit to the stadium. No one boos when they break out in "Hail State." Conversely, our band has never put on an event that resulted in a quarter million dollars being taken at gunpoint. Our band has never been accused of simulating sex with their instruments (at least as part of their halftime show) .
One final thought on the band deal. We realize that your band is used to "squaring off" with the other band before, during and after the game. This is the SEC, guys. If your band plays a note during gameplay, your team is going to be flagged. And after the game, our band is going to play the alma mater, fight song and get out of there like the rest of the fans while you march out and everyone laughs at you. In the end, our band members will actually get a degree worth more than the paper its printed on, so who's the real winner?
<span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Your conference is a *****, and you're a ***** for taking it.</span>
There I said it. The SWAC is a *****. SWAC football is the only conference in college athletics where when the players step on the field and go through two a days in the August heat, they have zero chance of playing for a national championship. Before you say Sun Belt, etc. Yes, it is a tough road, but technically there is a chance. Why is the SWAC the only conference that is like this?
"Why have a playoff when you can have a payoff?"
That's a direct quote from the SWAC commissioner. And the one school that should have the biggest gripe with this policy is Jackson State, and here's why.
The SWAC does not participate in the Division I-AA playoffs because of the Bayou Classic, an annual Thanksgiving weekend affair between Grambling and Southern at the Superdome. The game conflicts with the opening round of the Division I-AA playoffs. Rather than move the game up a week, the SWAC and the city of New Orleans balked. The members voted, and only two (Grambling and Southern) voted to keep the current format, so the SWAC moved the game, right? Wrong. Grambling and Southern keep the game Thanksgiving weekend, split the gate of an NFL stadium in a town that loves the game, and shares the NBC revenue with the SWAC, while the rest of the conference sits there and takes it.
Grambling and Southern are likely candidates to win the SWAC every year, as they are first and second, respectively. But Jackson State has won its shares of SWAC titles and they don't have a big game like that that draws a national television audience, as well as 70,000+ people. They play Alcorn and might get 30,000. In fact, Alcorn wants to move the game to a home and home. Jackson State, in 1997, was the last SWAC team to play in the Division I-AA playoffs.
"But the SWAC was 0-19 all-time in the playoffs, including Steve McNair's 30 point loss If we can;t win, why play?" That's like the spoiled kid in your neighborhood that takes his ball and goes home when he gets beaten. But for you that think this way, I present to you the Heritage Bowl.
Remember the Heritage Bowl? Christmas Day in the Georgia Dome. The champion of the SWAC against the champion of the MEAC. The HBCU national championship, if you would. Except for it was the SWAC champion against the runner-up from the MEAC, because the MEAC champion actually goes to the playoffs. After a while, it became the SWAC champion against the third place team from the MEAC, because the MEAC was sending its champion and its runner-up was getting an at-large bid. Folks were watching Florida A&M on ESPN make a run for a real national championship, and you know, at halftime, ESPN showed the band.
The SWAC actually won most of the Heritage Bowls, but when third place Hampton beat the **** out of SWAC champion Southern in 1999, the SWAC decided that they would hold a "SWAC Championship Game" instead. Yes, the SWAC petitioned the NCAA and is the only conference allowed to have a football championship game with less than 12 members. No one has accused the NCAA of not playing politics.
<span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Some of your fans have some good stuff</span>
We know that State has had its problems this decade. We know that we have lost to the likes of Tulane, Louisiana Tech and gasp, Maine. But all of those teams would beat JSU by 40 or more. JSU fans who think they have a chance to win this game are delusional. State fans who think we have a chance to lose this game are just as delusional. State will win this game easily, and possibly could score as many offensive touchdowns (9) as MSU did in the entire 2006 season.
Here are some numbers for your enjoyment. Jackson State is 0-5-1 all-time against teams that are currently Division I. We're talking about Middle Tennessees, Arkansas States and other Sun Belt teams, not SEC teams. All-time, JSU is 18-30-1 against non-HBCUs and have not defeated a non-HBCU since downing Campbell in 1990. This is all while having three members of the pro football hall of fame don the JSU uniform.
Last year, SWAC teams played seven Division I-A teams. They did not play Florida, USC and Ohio State. They played teams like Arkansas State, Troy, New Mexico State, Louisiana-Monroe, UAB, Nevada and Houston. Average score 54-8.� Louisiana-Monroe was the only team to fail to drop 40 on a team. Everyone else scored at least 45. Arkansas State infamously beat Texas Southern 83-10. The college bookstore had a special running where you would get 1% off of ASU gear for every point they won by. They had to sell ASU gear at a 73% discount. Who gets beat by 73 points by a 6-6 Sun Belt team? Oh yeah, SWAC teams.
And while we're on the fans, its ******** all this talking you are doing and you send back over half of the 5000 tickets we allotted you. I thought we were going to have 10,000 JSU fans, JSU was going to paint Starksville blue and the such. Oh well, we'll enjoy watching your band simulate sex with their instruments and have to explain it to our children.�
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