A truck full of live infected monkeys ran off the road north of Heidelberg. Hep c, herpes, and something else. This is serious!!
Breaking in jasper county...
- Thread starter LOTRGOTDAWGFAN
- Start date
Sounds like open season on monkeys in Jasper County.
Which one of you low lifes gave these monkeys std's?
“Bobby, did they ever catch that gorilla what escaped from the zoo and punched you in the eye?”
With wild monkey being mentioned, I guess “paging Clintoninhelen” is appropriate
So a bunch of monkeys infected with hepatitis C, herpes, and COVID are on the loose, and Tulane is sending a truck to pick them up tomorrow?!? Uh, any way you could get someone up here TODAY?
Can any of them play in punt coverage?
That’s some Florida ****, Mississippi
Zombie apocalypse activated.
I knew it would start in Mississippi...but I didnt expect STD monkeys.
I knew it would start in Mississippi...but I didnt expect STD monkeys.
If they left Tulane headed for Florida, how’d they end up in Jasper County? Did the monkeys take out the driver and start driving the truck themselves? I’m picturing it like when the octopus drove the transport truck in Finding Dory.
The living one is named "Cesar", right?
Have you never seen Jumanji? That's how the monkeys drive. I don't know how you stand being so uncultured.
Escaped monkey from Jasper County truck crash found outside a Heidelberg house
A truck transporting monkeys from Tulane University overturned on I-59 near Heidelberg.
www.wapt.com
Hearing that intercourse with animals was mainstream in Jones county, they drove through looking for a clean truck stop to set up shop.
Not finding one, they made it all the way to Jasper Co and was about to turn around
***Immigrant monkeys with STDs & the COVID*** this has to be a sign of the apocalypse
They quickly "neutralized" all but one...Sounds like open season on monkeys in Jasper County.
Who wins....zombies or AI? Don't sleep on the STD monkeys either or with them ****
The monkey driver is a male and he REFUSES to pull over and ask for directions.
They all saw your "much improved" hot take and offed themselves.
Is Tacodog still around? Seems like he had some past experiences with crazy monkey a while back
We were just talking about how everything is a remake these days
I can just hear some bow hunter returning home after a morning hunt. Wife: Any luck ? Husband: You ain't gonna believe this chit .
Bayou Monkey Gumbo
Ingredients:
- 1 swamp-sized pot
- 3 tablespoons of roux
- 1 onion, chopped like your ex’s mixtape dreams
- 1 bell pepper, 1 celery stalk — because Cajuns call that the “holy trinity”
- 2 cups of monkey meat
- 1 can of tomatoes
- 4 cups chicken broth
- Hot sauce until your ancestors whisper “that’s enough”
- Rice, because gumbo without rice is soup with a self-esteem problem
Directions:
- Roux it up: Stir flour and oil until it’s the color of a bayou sunset — or until you question all your life choices.
- Holy trinity time: Toss in the onion, pepper, and celery. Stir until your kitchen smells like someone’s grandma moved in.
- Add your monkey meat: what the FDA don’t know won't hurt em
- Simmer: Add broth, tomatoes, and your questionable decisions. Let it bubble for an hour or until you lose track of time.
- Serve over rice: Garnish with green onions or a story about the time you “almost” caught a gator.
Chef’s note:
If someone asks what’s in it, just wink and say, “Don’t worry—it’s mostly legal.”
