GYERO ARCHIVE
- Thread starter anthonys735
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Last week I was volunteered by my wife to go help with my 4 yr old's class Thanksgving party. Due to me not responding quick enough to an email I drew short straw and was in charge of the "craft" that was to take roughly 10-15 min. I thought cool; paper plate hand turkeys all around. Maybe get wild with some crayons and safety scissors. WRONG MFING ANSWER!
Next thing I know I'm in effing Hobby Lobby looking for googly eyes (BUT NOT TO BIG DAMNIT BROCK YOU DONT CARE DO YOUUU!) and spent the better part of a half of a football game cutting colored tissue paper for feathers. We also did not speak to each over dinner that night over the insistence of the inclusion of the turkey snood (not to be confused with the effing wattle) and my decision to pre-glue the thing to the triangle nose if we HAD to have one. I evidently ruined Thanksgiving right then and there for all of them. I explained that our cut out snoods looked a lot like a ball sack, she countered with "I wish you could take this seriously", to which I told her to go color. Not wise.
Guess what, went great, none of the kids gave an eff as some fellow pinterest inspired treat was next (a freaking turkey inspired graham cracker treat that definitely took hours for no damn good reason) on the agenda.
My demonstration turkey definitely had a snood nut sack by the end of it BECAUSE THEY'RE FOUR AND THEY DONT GIVE A ****.
Thanks Pinterest!
Next thing I know I'm in effing Hobby Lobby looking for googly eyes (BUT NOT TO BIG DAMNIT BROCK YOU DONT CARE DO YOUUU!) and spent the better part of a half of a football game cutting colored tissue paper for feathers. We also did not speak to each over dinner that night over the insistence of the inclusion of the turkey snood (not to be confused with the effing wattle) and my decision to pre-glue the thing to the triangle nose if we HAD to have one. I evidently ruined Thanksgiving right then and there for all of them. I explained that our cut out snoods looked a lot like a ball sack, she countered with "I wish you could take this seriously", to which I told her to go color. Not wise.
Guess what, went great, none of the kids gave an eff as some fellow pinterest inspired treat was next (a freaking turkey inspired graham cracker treat that definitely took hours for no damn good reason) on the agenda.
My demonstration turkey definitely had a snood nut sack by the end of it BECAUSE THEY'RE FOUR AND THEY DONT GIVE A ****.
Thanks Pinterest!
That's the positive thinking I utilize through this crisis. My wife is a lot of things, but annoying to others thankfully isn't one of them (I think) b/c she's so shy...that's why I feel okay with exposing her now and then, b/c nobody would know how awful she can be sometimes otherwise, and I could never justify any of my wodie actions.
Wait til they all start posting their finished coloring book pictures on Henstagram and Henbook and Henterest. And begging for likes. Ugggh. Gonna have to unfollow a whole new group of folks.
My wife has an adult coloring book. Whatever keeps her attention so that I can watch sports when the kids are sleeping, I'm all for.
Speaking of hens and TV...has any channel ever gotten more mileage out of Xmas programming than Hallmark? The lass watches those movies nonstop from October through New Years. They are all the same damned movie, over and over, same plot, same result...they just change the cute chick/former-90's-kid-actress as the star, tweak her job/hometown redemption story and...boom! Wife is zoned out for 2 hours.
Then again, I watch UK football during the same time period and it's pretty much the same plot, over and over, just tweak the star QB/RB and coach...difference is while her show ends in a "happy ever after" love story, mine ends in a "why don't you just give me your money right now and I'll kick you in the nuts and we can call it even" story.
Maybe my wife gets it!
Speaking of hens and TV...has any channel ever gotten more mileage out of Xmas programming than Hallmark? The lass watches those movies nonstop from October through New Years. They are all the same damned movie, over and over, same plot, same result...they just change the cute chick/former-90's-kid-actress as the star, tweak her job/hometown redemption story and...boom! Wife is zoned out for 2 hours.
Then again, I watch UK football during the same time period and it's pretty much the same plot, over and over, just tweak the star QB/RB and coach...difference is while her show ends in a "happy ever after" love story, mine ends in a "why don't you just give me your money right now and I'll kick you in the nuts and we can call it even" story.
Maybe my wife gets it!
Meh, I fully furnished a 'craft room' for the lass 3 years ago for Christmas when she was ALL IN on scrap-booking, stitching, crafting, etc...TV mounted, leather couch, the works. A complete OASIS from me & the dogs.
...complete with an 'antique' (but new) baller Singer Sewing machine ($600) which was IMPERATIVE.
...it gets as much use as Pope's new treadmill will. She used it for the next year's 'gifts', and hasn't been in the room since I don't believe other than to vacuum. (2 years and counting)
Complete waste of money.
Guarantee the Louboutin coloring books I got her for Christmas this year don't get 1/3 finished.
Going back to Maps.
...complete with an 'antique' (but new) baller Singer Sewing machine ($600) which was IMPERATIVE.
...it gets as much use as Pope's new treadmill will. She used it for the next year's 'gifts', and hasn't been in the room since I don't believe other than to vacuum. (2 years and counting)
Complete waste of money.
Guarantee the Louboutin coloring books I got her for Christmas this year don't get 1/3 finished.
Going back to Maps.
My track record shows that any significant purchases have been used.
Did you know I have a green egg, hot tub, Porsche, and boat?
Did you know I have a green egg, hot tub, Porsche, and boat?
I bet that singer looks dope as hell when company comes over tho...
AND THIS IS MY CRAFT ROOM WHERE I DO MY CRAFTS!! ITS KIND OF MESSY DONT JUDGE LOLOL!!!!
*1 hen faints, the others smile as they think murderous thoughts about the host*
AND THIS IS MY CRAFT ROOM WHERE I DO MY CRAFTS!! ITS KIND OF MESSY DONT JUDGE LOLOL!!!!
*1 hen faints, the others smile as they think murderous thoughts about the host*
These are the adult coloring pages aren't they?
They're called Mandalas, you would know that if you were a coloring aficionado.
My wife's grandmother turned 85 today so I called to wish her a happy birthday. 90% of the conversation was about the game last night and how much we missed Ulis. "He sure is a little something isn't he. He looks so small out there but he is such a good little ball player."
She's been widowed for about 45 years, lives alone, never remarried....and never misses a Cats game.
Only in Kentucky.
:smiley:
She's been widowed for about 45 years, lives alone, never remarried....and never misses a Cats game.
Only in Kentucky.
:smiley:
Damn that's eerie. Same thing here except I went Brother. The table that it can fold down into cost the same as a lazy boy.
It's amazing how a lassy's mood can change with the wind and affect everything.
Bad Mood... You can tell as soon as she walks in the door. Tone of voice is different. The world is burning, you can't win for losing.
THIS PLACE STINKS. DID YOU FLUSH? I HEAR A GAME ON. CAN
WE PLEASE WATCH SOMETHING TOGETHER OTHER THAN SPORTS. WORK IS AWFUL. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HELP WITH LAUNDRY? YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY & IT BOTHERS ME. EVERYTHING IS WRONG. DID YOU LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID?!
Good Mood... You can also tell as soon as they walk in the door and the tone of voice is also distinct.
NO WORRIES, HUN. YOU CAN
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY LATER... GO HAVE FUN WITH THE BOYS. THANK YOU FOR UNLOADING THE DISHWASHER! SUCH A SWEETIE. THAT TEXT EARLIER ABOUT THE GUYS UK BBALL ROAD TRIP?..GO FOR IT. SOUNDS LIKE A BLAST!
Bad Mood... You can tell as soon as she walks in the door. Tone of voice is different. The world is burning, you can't win for losing.
THIS PLACE STINKS. DID YOU FLUSH? I HEAR A GAME ON. CAN
WE PLEASE WATCH SOMETHING TOGETHER OTHER THAN SPORTS. WORK IS AWFUL. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HELP WITH LAUNDRY? YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY & IT BOTHERS ME. EVERYTHING IS WRONG. DID YOU LISTEN TO A WORD I JUST SAID?!
Good Mood... You can also tell as soon as they walk in the door and the tone of voice is also distinct.
NO WORRIES, HUN. YOU CAN
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY LATER... GO HAVE FUN WITH THE BOYS. THANK YOU FOR UNLOADING THE DISHWASHER! SUCH A SWEETIE. THAT TEXT EARLIER ABOUT THE GUYS UK BBALL ROAD TRIP?..GO FOR IT. SOUNDS LIKE A BLAST!
also live with a coloring lass. noticed that the other day and assumed she just ironically picked up some **** at a logans roadhouse or something. guess this is an actual "thing," and she shall be clowned accordingly.
Coloring books? ******** if this thread doesn't make me happy about my divorce. I don't need crayola to watch the game.
@tommyg4uk I may be getting transferred to Raleigh. Aren't you in the triangle somewhere? Any words of wisdom? I'm just pumped to get out of Indiana.
@tommyg4uk I may be getting transferred to Raleigh. Aren't you in the triangle somewhere? Any words of wisdom? I'm just pumped to get out of Indiana.
Crayons...that's cute guys. Just wait till your lass "needs" special colored pencils and sharpener because, well, "the other sharpener chews the tips up".
I live in the Piedmont Triad...different from the Triangle. However, I know a lot about that area. If you want to shoot me an email [email protected]...Raleigh is a really cool city.
I know what Sloot is getting for Christmas!
http://www.amazon.com/Wee-Can-Too-Organic-Crayons/dp/B005PO4PM0
http://www.amazon.com/Wee-Can-Too-Organic-Crayons/dp/B005PO4PM0
Please tell me none of your hens are coloring with RoseArt.
I'm a Red Sox fan, and that deal is insane. He's been awful in the postseason his whole career, and they just gave him double what Homer Bailey got from the Reds. :flush:
Coloring books LOL y'all are married to a bunch of grade school children. Do they also play hopscotch & pattycake?
Here are the intellectually stimulating endeavors that occupy my wife's downtime:
1. Instagram (for following celebrities only)
2. E! News
3. KUWTK
4. Us Weekly
In her defense, chasing a bunch of kids around all day and carting them to/from school, practice, parties, etc., is exhausting. But still. Nothing in the world is more absurd than following the whims and proclivities of a bunch of vapid idiots who play dress up for a living.
Here are the intellectually stimulating endeavors that occupy my wife's downtime:
1. Instagram (for following celebrities only)
2. E! News
3. KUWTK
4. Us Weekly
In her defense, chasing a bunch of kids around all day and carting them to/from school, practice, parties, etc., is exhausting. But still. Nothing in the world is more absurd than following the whims and proclivities of a bunch of vapid idiots who play dress up for a living.
homer bailey shouldn't be the benchmark. he's pretty average. price is AWESOME, but he's 30. they can afford $31 million, but can't afford to pay a washed up mid 30s pitcher, which he'll be for half that contract.
i like the zimmerman deal much more.
i like the zimmerman deal much more.
baseball lol.
Ok. Thanks guys. Everyone over the minimum contract is overpaid and ridiculous...we get it, PTI(pti).
If it's not College Basketball or Coloring ---------> GTFO. It's December.
Thx
Ok. Thanks guys. Everyone over the minimum contract is overpaid and ridiculous...we get it, PTI(pti).
If it's not College Basketball or Coloring ---------> GTFO. It's December.
Thx
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You guys are f*cking around, right? They're not really coloring. I don't believe that.
I've been making barn quilts lately because I'm an awful loser ***** *** but they add character to my ball home and make it feel cozy and also I find it therapeutic
I ask the wife if she colored...
"Fk. Who has time to f'n color? I don't have time to color. Are you serious?" - Wife.
"Fk. Who has time to f'n color? I don't have time to color. Are you serious?" - Wife.
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