Jones County never disappoints

onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
14,856
12,940
113
I mean, who of us has not done similar can cast the first dirt clods
 

onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
14,856
12,940
113
I hope he can get straightened out. Next thing you know this kid will be committing way worse crimes than this, like scattering pennies at someone’s feet and shouting f the Jews.
It is like watching Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm with all the DRAMA captured on video

e3cd9f5d-e7b5-4eec-8e18-f33766290b67_text.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: bulldoghair

onewoof

Heisman
Mar 4, 2008
14,856
12,940
113
For your Friday delight. Enjoy... song has been cut, video in the works


🎵 “GONE A FEW DAYS (THE JONES COUNTY JOYRIDE BLUES)” 🎵

(Verse 1)
Well down in Jones County there’s a boy you oughta meet,
He’s fourteen years of trouble with size-sixteen feet.
Last May he stole a school bus, just wanted to feel free,
But this time he said “I need horsepower… a Denali GMC.”

(Verse 2)
He crawled through an A/C vent like a raccoon on the prowl,
Grabbed a key fob off the counter, with a teenaged rebel growl.
Said, “Daddy don’t you worry, I’ll be back in a couple days,”
Then he peeled out from Big L’s lot like the Dukes of Hazzard with braids.

(Chorus)
Now he’s doin’ burnouts up in Illinois,
Gas-station crowd yellin’, “Dang, that boy’s a boy!”
He said, “I drove all night for a girl I met online,”
But the cops said, “Son… this ain’t Dateline.”
From Mississippi mud to them Midwest lights,
He’s the legend of the cross-state joyride nights.

(Verse 3)
When the troopers rolled up, they couldn’t believe their eyes,
Thought he’d be twenty-somethin’, not half that size.
They said, “Where you headed, buddy?” He said, “Up North for romance.”
“Son, you ain’t even old enough for a school dance.”

(Bridge)
Now Illinois wants charges, Mississippi might too,
Everybody’s askin’, “What are we gonna do?”
The judge scratched his head, said, “This kid’s somethin’ else…
Fourteen years old and already outlawin’ himself!”

(Chorus)
So he’s doin’ burnouts up in Illinois,
Gas-station TikTok’s cheerin’, “There goes that Jones County boy!”
All for a girl he ain’t met in real life,
Man, puberty hits hard… and apparently drives.
From Ellisville streets to that Midwestern sky,
He’s the legend of the cross-state joyride guy.

(Outro)
Now parents, hide your keys, your buses and your rides,
‘Cause that boy from Jones County might be goin’ for a drive.
And if he says he’ll be “gone a few days,” don’t take it lightly—
Check your car, check your vents… and maybe tuck those keys in nightly. 🎵
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
Reactions: CochiseCowbell