MUST Read on recruiting.......

Sep 16, 2012
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He hit everything but left out #6...

...#6. Pagan coaches vs. the devout followers of Jesus Christ coaches. Pagan coaches = suspect in regional birthplace; doesn't thank the Lord enough for the wins; cusses a little too much for the girlfriends & mamas; doesn't "get emotional" during a press conference explaining a top player's suspension before the Big Game. Christian coaches = Use their self-righteous attitude to fire up the fanbase; knows how to work the children's hospital better than the pagan coach; warns recruits all other coaches in the conference are degenerate sinners who will ruin their lives; quotes Bible verses to mamas during recruiting visits; has Pat Robertson's personal phone number in case "secular culture begins to contaminate the locker room;" gives the Lord all the credit when he beats a team he was favored to beat by 15.
 
Nov 16, 2005
27,333
20,079
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Wow those are all things that I hear every Sunday at church from my rebel friends. Mullen is some devil worshiping evil coach or a scientilogist (I just laugh histerrically in their face when they tell me that).
 

RocketDawg

All-Conference
Oct 21, 2011
18,945
2,066
113
But aren't they the ones ...

that go to the "party school" with free flowing alcohol and practically publicly open sex with someone other than your spouse? Doesn't sound very Southern Baptist to me ... sounds downright hypocritical.
 

tb2

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
283
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Wow a new twist. The ever elusive Bear at church story.

You are certainly not Baptist b/c we hit the door as soon as the preacher is done and would never hang around to talk to each other about football when there is football to be watched and beer to be drank(just not drank around each other).
 

aTotal360

Heisman
Nov 12, 2009
21,632
14,171
113
You know how to keep a baptist from drinking your beer on a fishing trip? Invite 2 of them.

Don't forget to tip your waitress.
 

SidneyBurger

Redshirt
Oct 18, 2012
197
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0
Your baptist church is much better than the one I grew up in... I had the in-your-face-and-won't-leave-you-alone type.
 

tb2

Redshirt
Aug 22, 2012
283
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That must be some sect that i am not familiar with. That is not how we normally operate, although, i did have a similar experience to yours once. My ex-wife and I had moved and were "shopping around" for a new church. I had one rule when going to a new church. I would only go to a large church. I did not want to go to a small church where everyone keeps up with everyone. So there is a this large church right down from our house about a half a mile and we decide to go check it out. So we walk in the door on Sunday morning and said large church was in fact not large. The building must have had a lot of dead space b/c they had way more building than they needed. There must have not been 20 people in the joint. Well, i could have sworn that when we walked in the door, the music stopped and everyone looked at us like we had just landed from outer space. It probably took us 20 mins to get out of there after the service. I would guess that we shook the hand of every single one of those 20 people before we got out of there.

So long story short, you must have gone to too small of a church.
 

CadaverDawg

Redshirt
Dec 5, 2011
6,409
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That must be some sect that i am not familiar with. That is not how we normally operate, although, i did have a similar experience to yours once. My ex-wife and I had moved and were "shopping around" for a new church. I had one rule when going to a new church. I would only go to a large church. I did not want to go to a small church where everyone keeps up with everyone. So there is a this large church right down from our house about a half a mile and we decide to go check it out. So we walk in the door on Sunday morning and said large church was in fact not large. The building must have had a lot of dead space b/c they had way more building than they needed. There must have not been 20 people in the joint. Well, i could have sworn that when we walked in the door, the music stopped and everyone looked at us like we had just landed from outer space. It probably took us 20 mins to get out of there after the service. I would guess that we shook the hand of every single one of those 20 people before we got out of there.

So long story short, you must have gone to too small of a church.

Sure you weren't at a USM Alumni meeting?*

Zzzzzzingg
 
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HD6

Sophomore
Apr 8, 2003
10,019
108
63
Hey, I'm Catholic, we start drinking in church and keep it going from there.
 

o_Hot Rock

Senior
Jan 2, 2010
1,818
751
113
Catholic outlook

Hey, I'm Catholic, we start drinking in church and keep it going from there.

My father-in-law was Catholic, and I was reared Baptist. He told me that you never take a single Baptist fishing with you. I set him up by asking why. He responded, "If you take two you will be fine, but if you take one he will drink all your beer."
 

Victory Red

Redshirt
Aug 24, 2012
518
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I don't have time for any kind of church functions, I'm too busy trying to figure out where the white women at. Figured that was how all of us Bears did things, either busy paying a recruit or finding more white girls who swallow (isn't that all of them?).