Pikiell Raising His Kids to Enjoy Sports
- Thread starter SoCal_Knight
- Start date
Nice read, thank you. Parents are batshit in sports. My oldest girl is 6, spoke to a club soccer coach who told me they practice twice a week, have games on weekends vs other towns and you don't want to have your kid fall behind the others so it's important they go to practice. I ended the call and thought to myself, bro they're 6 years old. WTH are you talking about? Let them run around and have fun.
Yogi when asked “what can my son do this fall to improve his baseball skills”
Yogi answer:
Play soccer or football
Yogi answer:
Play soccer or football
Agreed 100% Schiano always said he loves guys that play more than 1 sport
If you're local get them into Rover's international soccer. NJ HoF coach and it's all about fun.
These people are cold.
My eldest, also 6, tried out for a travel team last weekend. He’s average athletically but a total gamer. 200% heart and hustle and knows the game. He wanted to play travel like his older cousins so we tried him out.
Anyway they told us they would let us know “Tuesday”.
Tuesday came and went and no response.
Wednesday morning we reached out, guy asked for his birth year again and then he said he needed further analysis. Would
Let us know by the end of the week.
Never heard from the guy.
Freaking nuts. If my kid isn’t good enough thats ok. You can’t ghost a freaking 6 year old who was asking all week if he made the team.
Anyway we will straight up not play with them in the future.
We’ll keep playing driveway soccer as a family and rec in the meantime.
This is a very interesting post because I have no idea what you are saying here. Greg isn't mentioned and you don't remember an article. Sooooo, are you... mad they didn't do one on Greg? Think it's telling they didn't do one on Greg...? Ooorrrrrrr are you just trying another one of your subtle comments where you can get lots of comments of people mad at you and then you can say "WHAT DID I SAY? I JUST SAID I DON'T REMEMBER ONE ON GREG AND HIS SON" but the question begs... why does it matter? I don't remember an article on Pikiell winning a football game in 2006
Also, Pike's daughter at UNC is a national champion
It doesnt matter i was just curious. Your last sentence isnt similar to the question I was asking but I know you were just trying to be a smart aleck.
The national champion bit in your other post could be a factor as I think about it more.
You weren't "just curious" but okay, we'll go with that.
You dodged a bullet. Don't get sucked in. Your kid is 6 man. They all just crowd together and kick each other in the shins and occasionally they kick the ball.
99% of kids will not play sports at the D1 to D3 level in college. Having coached and watching parents, you almost get the sense its the parents living vicariously through the kids as they run around on things like travel ball, club teams, etc. I've seen some fantastic players over the years that by the time college came around they were done with the one sport they ran around with for almost 12 to 13 years. When asked about this recently I told a parent, you can do the travel ball or club sport craze if your kids is good enough, but let your kid decide it as to whether it is fun to do. The minute it no longer is fun for them pull them from it even if they want to do it. Encourage them to do other stuff. One parent whose kids was a D1 athlete, but stopped after Freshman year of college, told me he wish he had pulled his kid from hyper competitive sports growing up. The kid was burned out and down for a bit, but he has now pulled himself back up to enjoy other things. Others, however, may have experiences that keep them depressed, which, of course, is not healthy. Sports are fun when you are younger; it is not a job. BTW, highly recommend everyone read the section on Roger Federer in the book Range by David Epstein and compare that to Tiger Woods in the same book. Eye opening.
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In many " wealthy " suburbs many parents see sports as a necessity to help their kids get into college. It has to go on their kid's resume. We played for fun in the past. Parents today spend thousands on admission coaches, etc. Heck my parents never even read my application and I wound up getting full scholarships to 3 schools. The pressure today is crazy and seems too much.
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Lol. If we’re to assume from his handle that he graduated Rutgers in 1966, just keep in mind that was 5 years before Rutgers decided to go Co-Ed.
I’d say things have changed a bit since then.
Yes they have!
Even as far back as 1975, baseball scouts were telling my dad i should consider not playing football and hockey my senior year because I was going to be a 1st round pick in the amateur draft.
I remember his advice to me like it was yesterday….”play em all”
I have the opposite problem with my 7yo (1st grade).
He keeps bugging me to play more and more.
He started coach pitch baseball this spring (2x a week) so I took him for a lesson before the season. Now he asks me almost daily when his next private lesson is. He also wants to get to the field 30min early to warm up and hit. I'm constantly in trouble for running "late" according to him.
He's also doing soccer on Saturday morning. He's already asking if he can try out for travel in the fall (2x a week training then game Sunday). I got him a soccer trainer thing (ball on a string to come back after he kicks) and he asked if we could bring it to soccer so he could practice more after soccer was over (his sister plays after so we just hang out all morning).
I told him no. If anything we can bring his glove and play catch.
Plus he wants to keep doing cub scouts and those events.
Kid just won't stop asking to do more.
Note - he's also the smartest in 1st grade and doing enrichment math. So it's not like he's struggling in school as a result of doing so much.
He's going to be a struggle to keep in check with activities.
He keeps bugging me to play more and more.
He started coach pitch baseball this spring (2x a week) so I took him for a lesson before the season. Now he asks me almost daily when his next private lesson is. He also wants to get to the field 30min early to warm up and hit. I'm constantly in trouble for running "late" according to him.
He's also doing soccer on Saturday morning. He's already asking if he can try out for travel in the fall (2x a week training then game Sunday). I got him a soccer trainer thing (ball on a string to come back after he kicks) and he asked if we could bring it to soccer so he could practice more after soccer was over (his sister plays after so we just hang out all morning).
I told him no. If anything we can bring his glove and play catch.
Plus he wants to keep doing cub scouts and those events.
Kid just won't stop asking to do more.
Note - he's also the smartest in 1st grade and doing enrichment math. So it's not like he's struggling in school as a result of doing so much.
He's going to be a struggle to keep in check with activities.
Great for you if it keeps up! Sometimes I get tired of my son's activity schedule, but these days, with very little "unstructured" kid play, the alternative to a packed schedule is usually just more screen time. Embrace the grind!
I can speak to this: as I said above, one of the reasons why parents today embrace so many organized activities is because of the precipitous decline of "unstructured" kid play. If my son were playing sandlot baseball and pickup basketball and schoolyard football all the time I wouldn't care so much: but these days, for a lot of kids, the alternative to organized sports is just more screen time.
As for the private coaching, etc.....well, sports are more fun when you're good. That's just the truth. My son has weekly hitting instruction with Rutgers' great Mike Bionde. I consider it an investment in keeping him ENJOYING baseball. Hopefully I'm right about that.
BURNOUT IS REAL! kids are afraid to tell their parents "no I don't want to do it" because they think they will disappoint their parents. If a kid is hot to play spring, summer, and fall baseball, great. But have an honest talk with them! Make sure they feel safe confiding in you if they want to stop, or just take a season off, or just stick to rec ball, etc.
My son was a champion BMX racer. And I mean CHAMPION! He had his picture and a writeup in Pull Magazine when he won the 2020 NJ Overall Points Championship, first out of 300+ riders. But he got bored of it, or sick of it, or whatever. It got to the point where he never asked to go to the track unless I brought it up. Finally I asked him if he still wanted to do it, and thankfully he had it in him to be honest and say no. I WAS disappointed, but also...that's that. Oh well: I made $800 selling his carbon wheels and cranks on Facebook.
This. My oldest just turned 7. The amount of unstructured play is so low. I’m finding myself yanking him out to play with him. Like dude. Go outside. Just run around. So the alternative is I’m putting you in swimming and baseball and music etc. keep them busy and off of the easy answer which is technology. But keep the structured stuff fun. The YouTube and I pads are the worst.
Also I was super competitive in soccer and didn’t get serious about it until I was probably 11. You don’t want to suck the joy out of it at the younger ages. I loved it and wanted to get better so I trained hard started at that age. You don’t want to push to hard and burn them out and have it feel like a chore.
The industry of coaching and private club is a racket.
Kids who are 1st rd picks can still set the agenda, and so too can kids going high-level D1.
but borderline kids who project for D3-Low D1, it’s much harder for parents to navigate and I think they do have to “play the game” in order to get some access or visibility against good comp.
Even by the time I was coming through (90s), there were tournaments you needed to be at in order to get seen unless you were an All-State kid or played with one. Garden St Games used to be a big one. One of my Legion teammates was 1st team all state SS and there were at least four of us who played in college. We never had scouts at our games except all star games our tournaments. One kid was very streaky but got hot at GSG and got a ride to ND after having a pretty average h s & summer career that I don’t think resulted in any offers to that point. But he “looked the part” of a college athlete.
I think 2 sports is the sweet spot for any kid reasonably engaged in academics.
There are parents getting private trainers at 8 years old. Those folks tend not to understand you still need to be an athlete. You can spot most players in warmups. Or - if your kid is hitting .200 in JV ball as a sophomore or he projects to be 5’10 150 lbs and throws 71mph there’s probably no amount of coaching that will turn him into a scholarship athlete. Or that playing h s volleyball or football or soccer is so much more fun than sport-specific offseason training regimens and kids will have those memories and friendships forever.
I used to think this too. I still keep in touch with my HS teammates.
But some high schools (and HS coaches) suck and the players on teams aren't even friends.
It's not always just like the old days.
I'm not a soccer guy but from what the kids tell me It seems like if you want to play high-level soccer after HS, you can't play for your HS team unless your HS team is a high-level prep or something like that.
Never worry about a kid who loves to play and wants to play.
My advice to you is give him some independence, let him get endless hours of reps throwing a ball against a wall with his glove on and fielding it, he will figure out games to play against himself.
Let him hit endless amounts of rocks and acorns into the woods witb a whiffle ball bat…let him do this alone.
Let him play whiffle ball alone with a buddy… you only need two.
You will never make it to the next level if your glove, bat, football, lacrosse stick, basketball etc…. Stays in the corner until the next adult ran practice
Things have been trending in this direction for high level soccer to the detriment of many HS programs. My guess is that the push has been toward what does the US need to do, starting at a grassroots/youth level, to be a factor on the world stage that prior generations couldn't quite bring to fruition. So these academies and club teams formed and maybe they are trying more to mimic the environments and philosophies of Euro youth programs. That said, the combination of learning to love the game and getting good at it also comes through the ad hoc, unstructured, pick up and just play opportunities that kids create for themselves and is supplemented by what they see and try to aspire to from TV.
Ughhhh - I know this sort of thinking was a push for our local club and many around here - a town travel club, residency required, NOT an elite club - to go from grade level teams, so kids play with their friends and the kids they would play with in HS to age-based teams, like international teams.
ZERO kids from our town, ZERO on those type of teams at an older age and if they were, they wouldn't have been playing town-based travel soccer as youths, but now if your kid is born 12-31, he's not playing with his classmates from school born 1-1. He's playing with kids he doesn't know, or barely knows that are a grade ahead of him in school.
Youth Soccer is like a cult around here, so it did nothing to impact the popularity, it just sucks for the kids who fall into those situations.
This. I think hand/eye coordination and improved balance are potential benefits with the unstructured, "endless" reps you mention. And kids can certainly be encouraged to do this solo, or with a sibling/friend or two.
No different than taking hundreds of shots or working on dribbling/handle in your driveway or at the nearby school courts, or playing 1 on 1. Don't need coaches or a full team. Just play.
The only downside is if there is bad technique
A kid with a bad swing or bad throwing motion or bad shooting form getting tons of reps will be difficult to fix later on. Kids can have success at early ages with techniques/form that doom them later on.
The athlete thing is so true. My son is on the cusp of adolescence and he is, eh, not the greatest athlete. At 8 years old he was a monster in 8U because I played with him all the time and most kids had barely thrown a ball before. But as experience catches up, natural athleticism starts to take over. He most likely has no future in sports past the age of 18 unless it's beer league softball so I just want to do whatever I can to maximize his enjoyment. That includes knowing the game, the fundamentals, etc. Learning to accept failure (which he sometimes struggles with still). Making friends and lifelong memories.
Yeah, there are potential downsides/traps that these systems create.
One of the things I'm not a fan of is playing tournaments at the younger ages (say 10 and below) as it sometimes requires too much of the players in a short window.
High school coaches 50/50 terrible agree but it's about playing for school, admiration or failing and getting balls busted, hanging out with teammates after school before/after practices and games etc..
My son has a friend at a prep school with good sports programs and he doesn't even play there, the club frowns on HS teams.
I HATE that sort of thing.
The aforementioned local travel team takes a trip to Cape Cod for a long weekend - 4th grade and up (they added 3rd-grade travel teams since my kids were involved so it might even be 3rd grade).
It's more about the parents than about the kids.
Soccer added 3rd-grade travel, so the local LL went a year younger too - so they could get kids before they got too into soccer. It's like an arms race and it's absurd.
All that stuff in the first lines - that was my experience and it's unforgettable, lifelong, great memories and friendships.
It's different now in many cases and lots of kids don't get that at their HS. For a bunch of reasons, many teams don't bond like that anymore. Crossover to the Huggins thread and one reason is you have to be a whole lot more careful with the ball-busting these days. The worst things I've ever said to people or had said to me (other than in game trash talking) was to and from my best friends in HS. It's not like that these days.
Fair point. Hopefully if they are also playing in a formal team environment for one season per year, then they'll get some coaching and fundamentals work to build off of. The impromptu individual opportunities can often be in the off-season like during the summer where kids are killing time across a variety of youthful activities.
Indeed. They're looking for too much commitment from families at too early an age. And juggling multiple siblings in different sports in that type of environment is a recipe for parental burnout too.
Also, one thing people shouldn't overlook about club sports, especially at young ages:
I've known multiple people who avoid their local rec leagues because of stuff like DADDY BALL, favoritism, bullying, and other drama that goes along with a small town league. SOMETIMES, the club dynamic of "show up, play, go home," where the other families are really just sports acquaintances and nothing else is a way to avoid some of the BS that can happen in rec leagues or even high school sports. Kids who are still learning the game don't have to go to school the next day and get teased by kids for dropping a pop fly or whatever. Hired coaches don't play their kid at shortstop for the whole game, etc.
I've known multiple people who avoid their local rec leagues because of stuff like DADDY BALL, favoritism, bullying, and other drama that goes along with a small town league. SOMETIMES, the club dynamic of "show up, play, go home," where the other families are really just sports acquaintances and nothing else is a way to avoid some of the BS that can happen in rec leagues or even high school sports. Kids who are still learning the game don't have to go to school the next day and get teased by kids for dropping a pop fly or whatever. Hired coaches don't play their kid at shortstop for the whole game, etc.