Van Damme vs. Steven Seagal

CochiseCowbell

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Paging @mcdawg22


jean claude van damme chocolate GIF
 

karlchilders.sixpack

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Did you see Tom Seguras skit show on Netflix? It’s absurdly disturbing at points but he did a Seagal bit and runs. I may have spit my drink out.
I'm not on NETFLIX, but I've had that opinion, 15-20 years. Not surprised somebody worked up a video on it.
 

BoDawg.sixpack

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I think that's possible but not assured. It's hard to beat peak, vintage Kelly LeBrock. Pun intended for all the hetero gen-exers in here who spent plenty of time beating it to her back in the day.

Yeah you'd have to bang the hottest Price is Right blonde (Gena Lee Nolin?) and probably Pamela Anderson from her early Baywatch days to surpass that. But if anyone could it was JCVD.
 

mstateglfr

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I dont know when Seagal's roundhouse kicks turned into leg sweeps, but when I noticed it in some crappy movie years ago, I straight up laughed.

Pretty sure JCVD as a person isnt great, the guy may even be terrible, but he surely has to still be infinitely better than Seagal.
Seagal is a good friend of Putin and has called Putin his brother, has helped support Russian war propaganda while living in Russia as a citizen for nearly the last decade, and has been accused of sexual misconduct by a bunch of various women thru the decades.

Seagal is as cool as a bag of dicks.


Dude isnt looking too great right now...
 
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o_Hot Rock

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You should here Dana Carvey and David Spade talk about how much of an idiot Steven Seagall was when he hosted SNL.

That guy is a joke.

Now, he could kick my ***. We do understand that part right?
 

CochiseCowbell

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You should here Dana Carvey and David Spade talk about how much of an idiot Steven Seagall was when he hosted SNL.

That guy is a joke.

Now, he could kick my ***. We do understand that part right?

I don't personally know you, but I'm not so sure that's a given any longer, if it ever was.

Whatever happened to that show where he filmed ride-alongs with cops in Louisiana?
 
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horshack.sixpack

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I dont know when Seagal's roundhouse kicks turned into leg sweeps, but when I noticed it in some crappy movie years ago, I straight up laughed.

Pretty sure JCVD as a person isnt great, the guy may even be terrible, but he surely has to still be infinitely better than Seagal.
Seagal is a good friend of Putin and has called Putin his brother, has helped support Russian war propaganda while living in Russia as a citizen for nearly the last decade, and has been accused of sexual misconduct by a bunch of various women thru the decades.

Seagal is as cool as a bag of dicks.


Dude isnt looking too great right now...
he's massive!
 

TXDawg.sixpack

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I don't personally know you, but I'm not so sure that's a given any longer, if it ever was.

Whatever happened to that show where he filmed ride-alongs with cops in Louisiana?
Early in his career, Seagal could have definitely kicked all of our azzes, easily. For as bad of an actor as he was, he does actually have a multi-level black belt in Aikido (some sources say as high as 7th degree).

That said, he doesn't look like he could move fast enough to hurt anything except a bucket of KFC these days...
 

o_Hot Rock

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I don't personally know you, but I'm not so sure that's a given any longer, if it ever was.

Whatever happened to that show where he filmed ride-alongs with cops in Louisiana?
me - age 61 - 5' 9 1/2" 180lbs and not been in a fight since 1985 and never trained to fight in any genre. I didn't lose that fight with a much larger man but I was hit so hard my glasses were broken and I went to one knee. He kept swinging but I had enough sense not to let him hit me again. He was a shoplifter at a store I was running in Aberdeen. I weighed 130lbs at that time and was stupid not to let him go. It was not my cigarettes he was trying to steal.

Seagall, if nothing else, is a large man and has trained for years in martial arts. He is not smart but, let's say it's a given that he could take me.
 

DawgsGoneWild

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My step father owned a bar on dolphin island until his passing in 2022. But JCVD filmed there in 2017 for one of his worst movies with Dolph Lundgren called “Black Water”. Complete trash of a movie. But while filming we were there a lot and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. Esp JCVD. Went out of his way to say hello and sign stuff for anyone. He did get mad at some of the food they had on set though. Frank Dux doesn’t like a foot long sandwich apparently
 

Darryl Steight

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My step father owned a bar on dolphin island until his passing in 2022. But JCVD filmed there in 2017 for one of his worst movies with Dolph Lundgren called “Black Water”. Complete trash of a movie. But while filming we were there a lot and both of them couldn’t have been nicer. Esp JCVD. Went out of his way to say hello and sign stuff for anyone. He did get mad at some of the food they had on set though. Frank Dux doesn’t like a foot long sandwich apparently
I've always heard JCVD is a decent guy. So, they say, is Lundgren for that matter. No one has ever said Seagal was a nice guy. Ever.
 

Chesusdog

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Early in his career, Seagal could have definitely kicked all of our azzes, easily. For as bad of an actor as he was, he does actually have a multi-level black belt in Aikido (some sources say as high as 7th degree).

That said, he doesn't look like he could move fast enough to hurt anything except a bucket of KFC these days...

I do recall a story from around the turn of the century of him meeting a professional wrestler, trying to start some **** and getting manhandled. Could be hearsay, but given his rotundness these days I find it plausible.
 
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