Yeah, having written HR manuals in the early days of the enlightened corporate sexual harassment movement, the standard system was turned on its head. You were guilty until proven innocent. Which, given the times, seemed like a reasonable alternative to the hypothetically huge problem. Except, when you co-opt the system of justice that we as humans have spent centuries creating to move beyond the rather medieval eye-for-an-eye historical alternative (Burn her, she's a witch! She turned me into a newt!), you've created a really slippery slope. The old adage, better ten guilty men go free than one innocent man suffer, exists for a reason, as painful as it may be to the aggrieved.
It's worse than that. HR is where sociopaths go to practice their malevolent craft with respectability.
About fifteen years ago, I inherited a bona-fide bat guano crazy employee. A former college cheerleader, she smoked herself into a reasonably decent facsimile of Margaret Hamilton's most famous character, sans the greenish hue.
One day, she really topped herself. Frustrated by some small matter, she "vented" by walking about the halls holding a banana as a faux gun, complete with "bang bang, pow, pow". When that didn't get the reaction she wanted, she began shaking it and making noises more like automated fire.
I called the employee help line and my boss, who asked me to update him on EAP's recommendations. I told him that they indicated that she exhibited 8 out of 10 "troubled" employee warning signs and that given the violent mimicry, should be required to undergo counseling as a condition of continued employment-however, since she didn't think she had a problem, the outcome wouldn't likely lead to improvement and for the moment, I should advise her of the inappropriateness of her "humor" and document the conversation, advising the chain of command,.
After the call, I was updating my boss and there was a knock on his office door. It was bat guano and she said "gentlemen, I just have one question. Is my sanity in question". (talk about the queen mother of Freudian slips), to which my boss responded that we were discussing technical matters.
A week later, the boss left for two weeks as he was getting married. She used the time to file a 9-page written sexual harassment complaint-and since the first interviewer was reading from the original-I could see that in her anger, Annie Bananny Oakley embossed the paper.
While it was completely fabricated-some of the complaints rose to the ridiculous. One was that I fell on her (not sexual harassment, and of course with me at about 250, she'd have needed an ambulance.). Since lunatics seek attention, she couldn't resist the most insane but elaborate flourishes such as I "mounted" her-in the office.
Three months later, I was told that interviews and a search of records indicated that no evidence was found to support the allegations. I was informed that for my own protection; I should never allow myself to be alone with that employee.
The letter I received said that no evidence was found to support the allegations, I wasn't found "innocent". In addition, it stated this letter would be retained in my permanent file for the duration of my employment and it could be considered in any future investigations. There was no possibility of pursuing action against the lying sack for insubordination or abuse of process.
I'm getting close to retirement; my good-bye letter will have a special section with my thoughts on HR.
