Where in the NT is Mary’s perfection taught. That one always confused me.
This is a great question because my 1 biggest hangup during and after RCIA was the ever virgin belief. It wasn’t a deal breaker for me but my argument during class with the teachers was we can agree on immaculate conception but if she was an ever virgin that means Jesus had no siblings as noted and also the marriage wasn’t consummated so it wasn’t valid. The siblings part is often explained as Jewish tradition of several families living together (cousins) and also I’ve read that Joseph was previously married. That comes from apocryphal writings later. The lay minister at my church did not have a good answer. It bothered me for years, not in a deal breaking way, but I’ll get hung up on something that can’t be logically explained to me. A priest on X answered this for me in DMs like 2 years ago. His answer that satisfied my hangup:
“Hey, thank you for asking — and no worries at all. That’s a genuinely thoughtful question, and you’re not the first to wonder about it. It's great that you're digging into it honestly.
In Jewish custom at the time of Mary and Joseph, marriage had two distinct stages: the betrothal (erusin) and the home-taking (nisuin). Betrothal was more than what we’d call engagement — it was a legal bond, and ending it required a formal divorce. But the couple didn’t yet live together. The second stage, nisuin, happened when the husband formally brought the wife into his home — that’s when they began life as husband and wife.
Now here’s the important bit: bringing a woman into one's home was the formal beginning of married life, not necessarily its consummation. Consummation was expected but not legally required for the marriage to be valid in the eyes of the law and community — especially if there was a mutual vow of continence. In fact, there are records in Jewish history (and later Christian tradition too) of so-called Josephite marriages, where spouses lived in celibate fidelity for spiritual reasons.
So Mary and Joseph were truly married — Joseph took her into his home (Matthew 1:24), which marked the nisuin. But their unique vocation involved a shared mission of guarding the mystery of Christ — and Joseph accepted that mission with full faith and obedience.
It’s not a loophole — it’s love on a whole other level.”