The Envelope, Please: Week 13 Awards

Every week, I’ll scan the nation and hand out awards. Without further ado … the envelope, please.
GAMES
Play this again: No. 12 Utah 51, Kansas State 47
Never play this again: No. 9 Notre Dame 70, Syracuse 7
What? TCU 17, No. 23 Houson 14
Huh? Pitt 42, No. 16 Georgia Tech 28
Are you kidding me? Penn State 37, Nebraska 10
Oh. My. God: Wisconsin 27, No. 21 Illinois 10
Told you so: No. 8 Oklahoma 17, No. 22 Missouri 6
COACHES
Wish I was him: Clark Lea, Vanderbilt
Glad I’m not him: Mike Norvell, Florida State
Lucky guy: David Braun, Northwestern
Poor guy: Jonathan Smith, Michigan State
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Bob Chesney, James Madison
Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Bret Bielema, Illinois
Desperately seeking … anything: Deion Sanders, Colorado
TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: SMU
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: Houston
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Rutgers
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t: Western Kentucky
Dang, they’re good: North Texas
Dang, they’re bad: Oklahoma State
Did the season start? North Carolina
Can the season never end? Oregon
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