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Snowpocalypse and Guardpocalypse have Texans and Longhorn fans shook

by: RT Young01/26/26

Please send supplies. All 128 rolls of toilet paper we purchased and fought an old lady at H-E-B for are gone after three days of being inside. We are struggling. This could be the last message you hear from me.

It’s clear the Snowpocalypse of February 2021 still has Texans shook.

Just look at the behavior of seemingly normal people days before a few inches of ice. They raid grocery shelves. Maybe it makes sense after what most of the state went through five years ago. Shook people shake, as they say. Still, I don’t understand why people think they’re going to poop 300 times in three days stuck at home.

There’s a similar behavior among Longhorn fans when looking ahead and thinking about the Texas offensive line next year. What happened to Arch Manning in Gainesville got us all down bad. So did repeated failures in the run game against Georgia and Ohio State. And Texas fans are panicking.

The left guard position has become the bogeyman of Longhorn fans’ nightmares. It’s the totem for the entire season’s failures. And Kyle Flood still being on Steve Sarkisian’s staff is like learning the call is coming from inside the house. Yet somehow, for the second year in a row, the guard position wasn’t appropriately addressed in the offseason via the transfer portal.

I’m not excusing that. It seems even more ridiculous after the additions of Cam Coleman and others. It’s like buying a Ferrari without airbags. But blaming the entirety of the 2025 Longhorns’ issues on the interior offensive line would be like blaming an ice storm on not having enough toilet tissue.

The team was simply not experienced or talented enough to take the leap Texas fans were expecting after two straight years on the doorstep of a national championship. Longhorn fans were still living in the 2010s, where the Saban era of college football taught fans to expect the top programs to reload, rinse, and repeat. Though the age of the portal, NIL, and an expanded playoff has shown us that age and experience rule the day.

Sark has surrounded Manning with talent, see Coleman, Hollywood Smothers, and Raleek Brown. And Texas has gotten older at key spots with additions like Rasheem Biles, Michael Masunas and Bo Mascoe. Still, one might argue that to do all that work and not improve the interior offensive line is an unnecessary gamble.

However, the panic over one position can resemble toilet paper induced hysteria. It ignores that the Longhorns came out of the portal with their biggest needs addressed, overall talent and experience. Their largest holes have been filled. Now Sarkisian enters a risky “wait and see” mode to determine whether their remaining hole at guard will undo everything. It might not, maybe it’s never even noticed.

Hey, sometimes you never need your car’s airbags at all. But would it be nice to know they’re there?

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